This is in part a "which goal do people really care about?" thing like Betamax vs. VHS. In this context, we're legally only able to stop per se, not kill, and

This is in part a "which goal do people really care about?" thing like Betamax vs. VHS. In this context, we're legally only able to stop per se, not kill, and ignoring that, we care a lot more about stopping someone before they wound or kill us than killing them. And your examples confound velocity/energy, which at handgun velocities equal (over)penetration and greater recoil, with diameter, which per the experts I prefer increases "stopping power". Therefore .40 S&W at 10 mm diameter is very popular (it's also a shorter, lower velocity 10 mm Auto developed after the FBI etc. realized that round had too much recoil), and the venerable 1904 .45 ACP at 11.5 mm is still quite popular. Many people like me use the latter in preference to rounds with a smaller diameter that can fit many more into a magazine. Like hardware video formats, network effects matter, e.g. an unpopular round won't have many guns chambered for it, and gun models designed for 9 mm can generally accommodate .40 S&W. But they're not overwhelming, it's not a winner take all domain like video tapes or analog video discs turned out to be, or better than DVD digital formats. For that matter, DVD essentially defeated a lot of other digital formats, but I'm not sure if any were near its quality and other advantages.