The article somewhat related to me. Whenever I felt the urge, it was both instinctive and driven by the realization of utter pointlessness of any endeavor, ult

The article somewhat related to me. Whenever I felt the urge, it was both instinctive and driven by the realization of utter pointlessness of any endeavor, ultimately of life itself. There were triggers, sure, which is where my instinct to give it all up came in, but the triggers themselves never drove it all the way. It was the chain of thought of how anything I do -- I used to do things primarily for my own satisfaction (read: happiness) -- is ultimately futile. I hated the fact that I am beholden to others -- my parents, my closest friends -- and thus cannot take my own life, but this thought was only a minor hurdle in the steep dive to suicide. Only a minor hurdle because I saw them as just other people in this web of life, perhaps more closely tied to me, but my life is my own after all, and I am the only one in here.