Sounds like there's a mix of imposter syndrome and minority status somewhere in there, and each can make the other worse. And attitude can really affect how we

Sounds like there's a mix of imposter syndrome and minority status somewhere in there, and each can make the other worse. And attitude can really affect how we perceive ambiguous reactions from other people. If you think you're a ninja rockstar, you're going to ignore the tepid responses that might discourage someone with a weaker ego. I think we could all do well to be more inviting and encouraging, especially if we organize or attend meetups. Meetups in my area each have reputations for how friendly or how stuck-up they are: Ruby is pretentious, JavaScript is welcoming, PHP is warm and casual, Python is somewhat neutral. But sometimes it's just one person who tilts the entire meetup.