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As a man, I feel like if I took on kids, I wouldn't have the time to work on what I value and still do a good job of raising them. And that's with a stable, 9 t

by ori_b 12y ago

As a man, I feel like if I took on kids, I wouldn't have the time to work on what I value and still do a good job of raising them. And that's with a stable, 9 to 5 job at a big company along with side projects. If I were working at a startup, where every deadline slip significantly affects the viability of the company, I would probably feel like I didn't have time for children and my startup. It doesn't have to be about sexism. Children are hugely expensive, and take a large chunk out of your life. Not everyone is willing or able to pay that price.

mqsiuser 12y ago
Everythings fine: Do hot stuff before and/or after having children. Slow down during family-time (and with that I mean having children from 0 to lets say 10 (after that they get more independent anyway)). Who wants to crush it from their 20ies to their 60ies? Still... a ... trade (I am/was willing to make)
je42 12y ago
Uhm. I know at least three farthers that got kids right when their startup was less than 3 years old... After having kids, you actually value your work time more. I have f.e. an almost strict 8 hour window. Hence, I try to make every minute count.
- makomk 12y ago
  It may be easier for you to convince other people of that as a father than it would be if you were a mother, unfortunately. I've seen complaints before (admittedly, in other industries and academia) about fatherhood being seen as something that enhances men's ability to do their job and motherhood a thing that distracts women from theirs.
protonfish 12y ago
Children aren't as expensive as they say, but yes, they do take a huge chunk out of your life. It would be hard to imagine looking at a spreadsheet of the positives and negatives of breeding and deciding it was a good investment. But if you suddenly found yourself with a child, you'd find a way to take care of it and it'd end up being not so bad. Though I would not recommend having both parents keep full time jobs until free babysitting (public school) kicks in. Somebody should at least drop to part-time. The money saved on daycare nearly makes up for the lost income and you'll actually get to experience being a parent. Though you may need a smaller home and used cars. I know that's not very cool but if you are a parent you aren't going to be cool anymore anyhow so you may was well save the money. I thought that it was known that eternal crunch time in software dev is counter-productive anyhow?
ojilles 12y ago
Children are only expensive in the same way any investment is: there is a cost with an expectation of higher returns. And boy, do kids have high returns and low failure rates!

by ori_b 12y ago

mqsiuser 12y ago

Everythings fine: Do hot stuff before and/or after having children. Slow down during family-time (and with that I mean having children from 0 to lets say 10 (after that they get more independent anyway)). Who wants to crush it from their 20ies to their 60ies? Still... a ... trade (I am/was willing to make)

je42 12y ago

Uhm. I know at least three farthers that got kids right when their startup was less than 3 years old... After having kids, you actually value your work time more. I have f.e. an almost strict 8 hour window. Hence, I try to make every minute count.

makomk 12y ago
It may be easier for you to convince other people of that as a father than it would be if you were a mother, unfortunately. I've seen complaints before (admittedly, in other industries and academia) about fatherhood being seen as something that enhances men's ability to do their job and motherhood a thing that distracts women from theirs.

protonfish 12y ago

Children aren't as expensive as they say, but yes, they do take a huge chunk out of your life. It would be hard to imagine looking at a spreadsheet of the positives and negatives of breeding and deciding it was a good investment. But if you suddenly found yourself with a child, you'd find a way to take care of it and it'd end up being not so bad. Though I would not recommend having both parents keep full time jobs until free babysitting (public school) kicks in. Somebody should at least drop to part-time. The money saved on daycare nearly makes up for the lost income and you'll actually get to experience being a parent. Though you may need a smaller home and used cars. I know that's not very cool but if you are a parent you aren't going to be cool anymore anyhow so you may was well save the money. I thought that it was known that eternal crunch time in software dev is counter-productive anyhow?

ojilles 12y ago

Children are only expensive in the same way any investment is: there is a cost with an expectation of higher returns. And boy, do kids have high returns and low failure rates!