6 ms·

Cool experiment, but not letting your family in on it? Not sure how this will affect future trust issues...

gdubs 12y ago
It was for research. If it were my daughter, I'd be both impressed and proud. Besides, most college students represent a different reality to their parents than the one they actually live.
- swartkrans 12y ago
  I don't know, I'd be pretty worried about my daughter if she were in another continent. I'd want the hotel information, I'd send her extra money. I'd be reading up on news in that area. I doubt I would be angry to find out it was a university project and she never went anywhere, but whatever I would feel probably wouldn't end up being pleasant. Maybe it wouldn't be bad, but the stress put on the parents doesn't seem right. I don't think children know how much parents care about them sometimes.
  - coldtea 12y ago
    >I don't know, I'd be pretty worried about my daughter if she were in another continent. I'd want the hotel information, I'd send her extra money. I'd be reading up on news in that area. She was in university, not 14 years old.
    - ssully 12y ago
      I am pretty sure he knows this. Being in college doesn't make parents stop from worrying or caring about their children.
    - hueving 12y ago
      You're right. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month as someone just out of high school is completely safe. There is no reason a parent would have to worry about their kid doing that.
      - coldtea 12y ago
        >You're right. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month as someone just out of high school is completely safe. First strawman. I never said it's "completely safe". Staying in your parents house is not "completely safe" either. You can fall of the stairs for example, or get an electric shock. Or they can bore you to death by overprotection. However such travelling is perfectly common. Tons of young people go backpacking in several foreign countries (you say it as "foreign country" means danger. In actuallity going to places like e.g Paris, Denmark or Singapore is a heck of a lot safer than staying home in Baltimore, Atlanta or Los Angeles). Besides "just out of high school" translates eighteen, so it's not a "kid" anymore (heck, in most countries, it also legally an adult). Heck, eighteen year olds were conscribed in most major wars, including Vietnam. >There is no reason a parent would have to worry about their kid doing that. Of course there's a reason: being over-protective. A little worrying is OK. The BS "I'll be reading the news for that part of the world" (for what? In case there was some avalance or earthquake or armed robbery and a news story mentions their child?) is not.
      - watwut 12y ago
        Safety depends on where you travel to. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month is pretty normal thing to to for college aged people with enough money to pay for it. "Foreign country" is not necessary more dangerous then the country you live in.
    - swartkrans 12y ago
      I'd still worry if she were 34 or 44 or 64?She wouldn't stop being my daughter. Should I feel sorry for your kids or are you not a parent?
      - coldtea 12y ago
        >I'd still worry if she were 34 or 44 or 64? She wouldn't stop being my daughter. Not, but you should have stopped being the parent of a child when she grew up. >Should I feel sorry for your kids or are you not a parent? You should feel sorry for yourself, and the idea that your ideals of parenting are the only ones there are out there. Here's a small pointer to a larger universe for you: http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-B%C3%A9b%C3%A9-Discovers-Parenting/dp/1594203334 http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-B%C3%A9b%C3%A9-Discovers-P...
  - watwut 12y ago
    First, she is an adult. It is very likely that she already did multiple foreign (most likely another EU) country trips without parents. If your adult child travelling Asia is so stressful to you, then you need to step back a bit. Second, she was supposed to be travelling. It usually means changing towns and hotels every other day. The only reasonable way to send her money is to transfer them to her usual bank account. Moreover, hotels in Asia are often cheaper if you find them in place and negotiate. You do not know the address in advance.
- yzzxy 12y ago
  That's why there are research ethics boards - I'd be surprised if this cleared one. I can say from very similar experiences that kind of activity can damage trust and destroy relationships with people.
  - Stately 12y ago
    My guess is that there was no formal research process involved at all. It was probably a project for an arts or design course, where a lot of times the more "disruptive" an idea looks, the more encouraged the student is to proceed with it. That reminds me of a BBC documentary called "But is it art?", where a Goldsmiths, University of London art student, for her final project, went to several art exhibitions, stole objects on display, swallowed them, and then showed them as her art after defecating them. Source: I'm a Goldsmiths alumnus.
collyw 12y ago
Maybe she didn't have them on Facebook. I refuse to add my parents as there is stuff on there I don't want them seeing easily.
- kohanz 12y ago
  Zilla even redecorated her own bedroom to make it look like an Oriental hotel room so that she could have Skype conversations with her family – at random times in the night, of course – without raising suspicion.
  - thaumasiotes 12y ago
    An "Oriental hotel room"? Hotel rooms look like hotel rooms.
    - collyw 12y ago
      You have not travelled on a budget in Asia. Some accommodation is very basic.
      - thaumasiotes 12y ago
        Well, unless you consider China "Asia". I might.
- moron4hire 12y ago
  Like what? What could you be doing that you can't have a frank conversation with another adult about? Of course, I suppose I'm weird. I go to bars and beer festivals with my parents. But I never got into binge drinking in college.
  - jonknee 12y ago
    You can't choose your parents, but it's great that you can have fun at bars with yours. Some parents don't approve of all sorts of things (politics, sexual orientation, religion, biracial relationships, etc etc). It's not always about having a frank conversation.
rmc 12y ago
IMO it depends if she asked for money, or missed an important family event (funeral/wedding/etc). Otherwise, what's the harm?

gdubs 12y ago

It was for research. If it were my daughter, I'd be both impressed and proud. Besides, most college students represent a different reality to their parents than the one they actually live.

swartkrans 12y ago
I don't know, I'd be pretty worried about my daughter if she were in another continent. I'd want the hotel information, I'd send her extra money. I'd be reading up on news in that area. I doubt I would be angry to find out it was a university project and she never went anywhere, but whatever I would feel probably wouldn't end up being pleasant. Maybe it wouldn't be bad, but the stress put on the parents doesn't seem right. I don't think children know how much parents care about them sometimes.
- coldtea 12y ago
  >I don't know, I'd be pretty worried about my daughter if she were in another continent. I'd want the hotel information, I'd send her extra money. I'd be reading up on news in that area. She was in university, not 14 years old.
  - ssully 12y ago
    I am pretty sure he knows this. Being in college doesn't make parents stop from worrying or caring about their children.
  - hueving 12y ago
    You're right. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month as someone just out of high school is completely safe. There is no reason a parent would have to worry about their kid doing that.
    - coldtea 12y ago
      >You're right. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month as someone just out of high school is completely safe. First strawman. I never said it's "completely safe". Staying in your parents house is not "completely safe" either. You can fall of the stairs for example, or get an electric shock. Or they can bore you to death by overprotection. However such travelling is perfectly common. Tons of young people go backpacking in several foreign countries (you say it as "foreign country" means danger. In actuallity going to places like e.g Paris, Denmark or Singapore is a heck of a lot safer than staying home in Baltimore, Atlanta or Los Angeles). Besides "just out of high school" translates eighteen, so it's not a "kid" anymore (heck, in most countries, it also legally an adult). Heck, eighteen year olds were conscribed in most major wars, including Vietnam. >There is no reason a parent would have to worry about their kid doing that. Of course there's a reason: being over-protective. A little worrying is OK. The BS "I'll be reading the news for that part of the world" (for what? In case there was some avalance or earthquake or armed robbery and a news story mentions their child?) is not.
    - watwut 12y ago
      Safety depends on where you travel to. Traveling alone in several foreign countries for more than a month is pretty normal thing to to for college aged people with enough money to pay for it. "Foreign country" is not necessary more dangerous then the country you live in.
  - swartkrans 12y ago
    I'd still worry if she were 34 or 44 or 64?She wouldn't stop being my daughter. Should I feel sorry for your kids or are you not a parent?
    - coldtea 12y ago
      >I'd still worry if she were 34 or 44 or 64? She wouldn't stop being my daughter. Not, but you should have stopped being the parent of a child when she grew up. >Should I feel sorry for your kids or are you not a parent? You should feel sorry for yourself, and the idea that your ideals of parenting are the only ones there are out there. Here's a small pointer to a larger universe for you: http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-B%C3%A9b%C3%A9-Discovers-Parenting/dp/1594203334 http://www.amazon.com/Bringing-Up-B%C3%A9b%C3%A9-Discovers-P...
- watwut 12y ago
  First, she is an adult. It is very likely that she already did multiple foreign (most likely another EU) country trips without parents. If your adult child travelling Asia is so stressful to you, then you need to step back a bit. Second, she was supposed to be travelling. It usually means changing towns and hotels every other day. The only reasonable way to send her money is to transfer them to her usual bank account. Moreover, hotels in Asia are often cheaper if you find them in place and negotiate. You do not know the address in advance.
yzzxy 12y ago
That's why there are research ethics boards - I'd be surprised if this cleared one. I can say from very similar experiences that kind of activity can damage trust and destroy relationships with people.
- Stately 12y ago
  My guess is that there was no formal research process involved at all. It was probably a project for an arts or design course, where a lot of times the more "disruptive" an idea looks, the more encouraged the student is to proceed with it. That reminds me of a BBC documentary called "But is it art?", where a Goldsmiths, University of London art student, for her final project, went to several art exhibitions, stole objects on display, swallowed them, and then showed them as her art after defecating them. Source: I'm a Goldsmiths alumnus.

collyw 12y ago

Maybe she didn't have them on Facebook. I refuse to add my parents as there is stuff on there I don't want them seeing easily.

kohanz 12y ago
Zilla even redecorated her own bedroom to make it look like an Oriental hotel room so that she could have Skype conversations with her family – at random times in the night, of course – without raising suspicion.
- thaumasiotes 12y ago
  An "Oriental hotel room"? Hotel rooms look like hotel rooms.
  - collyw 12y ago
    You have not travelled on a budget in Asia. Some accommodation is very basic.
    - thaumasiotes 12y ago
      Well, unless you consider China "Asia". I might.
moron4hire 12y ago
Like what? What could you be doing that you can't have a frank conversation with another adult about? Of course, I suppose I'm weird. I go to bars and beer festivals with my parents. But I never got into binge drinking in college.
- jonknee 12y ago
  You can't choose your parents, but it's great that you can have fun at bars with yours. Some parents don't approve of all sorts of things (politics, sexual orientation, religion, biracial relationships, etc etc). It's not always about having a frank conversation.

rmc 12y ago

IMO it depends if she asked for money, or missed an important family event (funeral/wedding/etc). Otherwise, what's the harm?