C is like a frag grenade, dipped in glue. It is strangely enticing to use it. It was more popular in the past but for some reason most of those guys aren't arou

C is like a frag grenade, dipped in glue. It is strangely enticing to use it. It was more popular in the past but for some reason most of those guys aren't around anymore. C++ is like a nuclear weapon, that automatically disables any means you have of getting clear of the blast radius when you activate it. Perl is like a leaky vat of nitroglycerin. It can be used as a weapon, but one wrong character and it kills you, most of your family, and half the neighborhood. Java is a 500000 pound KalashnikovFactoryDesignerFactoryProducerSingleton "weapon". I hear there's actually a way to fire it, using 50000 programmers, however as 90% of those programmers commit suicide on any given friday nobody has ever seen it successfully fired. It helped quite a few large company's IT departments grow to impressive sizes. You know, on thursdays. Scala is a way to fire the KalashnikovFactoryDesignerFactoryProducerSingleton with only 500 programmers, provided they have a deep working knowledge of ancient Egyptian algebra. Javascript is like a machine gun with two barrels pointed into two different directions. You can aim it at someone, but when you fire it, both the target and some poor bystander you liked will go down. Go is like C, except the glue on the grenade has been replaced by handcuffs, there's a million grenades chained to you and you're required to cite the error checking oath which goes "if I check my errors I will not die". What happens next can only be described as "humor". Bash is a row of unlabelled black buttons, which in order mean "coffee", "milk", "sugar", "lemonade", "global thermonuclear war", "diet lemonade" and "tea". I am not sure about that order. Neither is anyone else. Great lemonade though, you should try it. Python is the government's version of a normal pistol. If you aim it at the person in front of you it will proceed to start an Apollo program, design a moon rocket, put a bullet in an orbit that will take it around the moon and then into it's target, which of course has long since killed you, taken your wallet, and left the scene. There, I'm out.