4 ms·

That's just it though: No one has much of an interest of presenting anything less than a "beautiful" life on FB. What you're watching in that news feed isn't re

by fein 12y ago

That's just it though: No one has much of an interest of presenting anything less than a "beautiful" life on FB. What you're watching in that news feed isn't reality, it's a carefully curated set of ideal content to make that person look better/happier/richer than they actually are. Everyone has demons, but no one wants to air that to their peers.

thinkmassive 12y ago
I think you're focusing on the wrong part of the point being made by notastartup though. Given that people are going to try to make their selves look good regardless, it's wise to be selective in who you let into your newsfeed. Someone who connects with a lot of people they barely know will be worse off than someone who only accepts (and requests) connections to people with whom they have a close enough relationship that the happiness will always be mutual.
- fein 12y ago
  My point was to remind people that they simply shouldn't care. It's like getting mad at yourself because you don't look like that perfectly cut (and photoshopped) Abercrombie model. It's not an accurate representation of reality. I don't use facebook outside of what is required for API usage on whatever random dev project I get thrown into this week. The people that are truly in your circle of acquaintances probably don't need FB to stay in touch.
frostmatthew 12y ago
> Everyone has demons, but no one wants to air that to their peers. The only people who would think nobody bitches/whines/complains on FB are those that have never used it.
- serf 12y ago
  It's not that people don't whine, it's that when they whine they are always in the right (obviously untrue). It's a part of the creation of an image that the participants want to portray to other participants, just like the cherry-picked photos and favorite media. A person who strongly follows particular trends and styles on facebook is much more likely to share the same favorite medias as those facebook participants who share similar interests; this is two-sided, though. On one hand, you could say that it's the interests that shaped the person into the trends and styles that they participate, but the other possibility is that the person is emulating people who have the styles and trends that they wish for themselves, and simply merging information from a suitable profile. Ever wonder how your friends found the time to read through A Brief History of Time and GEB without you ever knowing of their interests in science and math, or ever having caught them reading a book? They didn't.
  - TeMPOraL 12y ago
    > Ever wonder how your friends found the time to read through A Brief History of Time and GEB without you ever knowing of their interests in science and math, or ever having caught them reading a book? Or maybe you just didn't know they were interested in the first place. I actually discovered thanks to Facebook that I share interests with many of the people who I didn't ever suspect on being interested in the same things as I. I'm an active Facebook user with 500+ friends, most of whom I know in real life, and I'm pretty sure almost none of them is consciously trying to "build a better image of themselves" in any other way they don't already do in real life. Seriously, everybody is "building their image" in "real life" all the time. If you go over to a friend to see the photos from a mountain trip, they will show you the nice one, not the ones when they sleep drunk under the table. Facebook actually makes it somewhat more difficult, because unlike face to face conversations, everything you wrote or posted is there to stay.
    - Stefanrio 12y ago
      It troubles me that there actually are people who think like you. I'm pretty sure your definition of a friend is different than most people. I'd label your "friends" as people who are in the same social circles as you because of their socioeconomic status. You, as the hollow facebook drone who has never actually experienced friendship, think that real people socialize by posting pictures of themselves online to boost their image, they don't. Your life must be lonely and sad, but hey, as long as 500+ people know what you had at that new sushi place last night, who cares, right? #culture #sushi #nightout #selfie #misusedhashtags
      - notastartup 12y ago
        What's worse is when people take pictures of the receipt from a sushi restaurant to show off how much money they blew but they will not post anything negative that happens afterwards. #mercurypoisoining #yolo #expensivesushi I see such people with 500+ even in some cases 1000+ friends on facebook. When talking with them in real life, you can feel that these type of people are social butterflies, placing quantity over quality of relationships. Not placing judgement on this style but when you have so many people on on facebook, it'd be a wonder how one can keep up with all of them, they probably don't. They probably constantly place people in different levels of relationship, far more often than someone with average or little friends on facebook, to filter out the social noise. It's so easy now to make connection with someone you barely knew in university or college. It's suddenly overwhelming when you like someone's post and he/she has never been close to you. A constant battle for likes, as many as possible, from whoever possible. It's like highschool but you interat with each other with a yearbook only in separate rooms. I can't even talk to 500 customers in one week by myself, if it was just through email by email basis with carefully thought out custom messages tailored to each individual written on the spot, it would take forever. 500 people alone is a staggering figure, I just don't know how people keep in contact with all 500 people with all the time. It must be exhausting.

by fein 12y ago

thinkmassive 12y ago

I think you're focusing on the wrong part of the point being made by notastartup though. Given that people are going to try to make their selves look good regardless, it's wise to be selective in who you let into your newsfeed. Someone who connects with a lot of people they barely know will be worse off than someone who only accepts (and requests) connections to people with whom they have a close enough relationship that the happiness will always be mutual.

fein 12y ago
My point was to remind people that they simply shouldn't care. It's like getting mad at yourself because you don't look like that perfectly cut (and photoshopped) Abercrombie model. It's not an accurate representation of reality. I don't use facebook outside of what is required for API usage on whatever random dev project I get thrown into this week. The people that are truly in your circle of acquaintances probably don't need FB to stay in touch.

frostmatthew 12y ago

> Everyone has demons, but no one wants to air that to their peers. The only people who would think nobody bitches/whines/complains on FB are those that have never used it.

serf 12y ago
It's not that people don't whine, it's that when they whine they are always in the right (obviously untrue). It's a part of the creation of an image that the participants want to portray to other participants, just like the cherry-picked photos and favorite media. A person who strongly follows particular trends and styles on facebook is much more likely to share the same favorite medias as those facebook participants who share similar interests; this is two-sided, though. On one hand, you could say that it's the interests that shaped the person into the trends and styles that they participate, but the other possibility is that the person is emulating people who have the styles and trends that they wish for themselves, and simply merging information from a suitable profile. Ever wonder how your friends found the time to read through A Brief History of Time and GEB without you ever knowing of their interests in science and math, or ever having caught them reading a book? They didn't.
- TeMPOraL 12y ago
  > Ever wonder how your friends found the time to read through A Brief History of Time and GEB without you ever knowing of their interests in science and math, or ever having caught them reading a book? Or maybe you just didn't know they were interested in the first place. I actually discovered thanks to Facebook that I share interests with many of the people who I didn't ever suspect on being interested in the same things as I. I'm an active Facebook user with 500+ friends, most of whom I know in real life, and I'm pretty sure almost none of them is consciously trying to "build a better image of themselves" in any other way they don't already do in real life. Seriously, everybody is "building their image" in "real life" all the time. If you go over to a friend to see the photos from a mountain trip, they will show you the nice one, not the ones when they sleep drunk under the table. Facebook actually makes it somewhat more difficult, because unlike face to face conversations, everything you wrote or posted is there to stay.
  - Stefanrio 12y ago
    It troubles me that there actually are people who think like you. I'm pretty sure your definition of a friend is different than most people. I'd label your "friends" as people who are in the same social circles as you because of their socioeconomic status. You, as the hollow facebook drone who has never actually experienced friendship, think that real people socialize by posting pictures of themselves online to boost their image, they don't. Your life must be lonely and sad, but hey, as long as 500+ people know what you had at that new sushi place last night, who cares, right? #culture #sushi #nightout #selfie #misusedhashtags
    - notastartup 12y ago
      What's worse is when people take pictures of the receipt from a sushi restaurant to show off how much money they blew but they will not post anything negative that happens afterwards. #mercurypoisoining #yolo #expensivesushi I see such people with 500+ even in some cases 1000+ friends on facebook. When talking with them in real life, you can feel that these type of people are social butterflies, placing quantity over quality of relationships. Not placing judgement on this style but when you have so many people on on facebook, it'd be a wonder how one can keep up with all of them, they probably don't. They probably constantly place people in different levels of relationship, far more often than someone with average or little friends on facebook, to filter out the social noise. It's so easy now to make connection with someone you barely knew in university or college. It's suddenly overwhelming when you like someone's post and he/she has never been close to you. A constant battle for likes, as many as possible, from whoever possible. It's like highschool but you interat with each other with a yearbook only in separate rooms. I can't even talk to 500 customers in one week by myself, if it was just through email by email basis with carefully thought out custom messages tailored to each individual written on the spot, it would take forever. 500 people alone is a staggering figure, I just don't know how people keep in contact with all 500 people with all the time. It must be exhausting.