Here's the best feedback I can give you- a real time description of my thoughts as I scan/scroll: 1. "supertrip" – what is this? drugs? roadtrip? backpacking?

Here's the best feedback I can give you- a real time description of my thoughts as I scan/scroll: 1. "supertrip" – what is this? drugs? roadtrip? backpacking? 2. 'not your typical adventure' - well that's a waste of a subheader, doesn't tell me anything. Bad first impression. 3. 'not for the faint of heart' still nothing. You could cut this sentence out and literally lose nothing. You're wasting precious seconds of attention here. 4. 'you and your friends will travel to locations you never thought were there... ah! So it's a sort of real-life waypoint driven amazing-race type thingy. 5. 'choose how many waypoints, how long a game, race or go as a group...' ah, that actually sounds like an amusing way to kill an afternoon with some friends. You're completely burying the lead there, friend. Kill 2 and 3, and lead with 4 and 5. Uber says "everyone's personal driver", not "not your typical journey" or "not for the outdated commuter" or something like that. You have precious seconds of attention. Don't tell us what your product isn't. Tell us IMMEDIATELY what we can expect to do, and what the benefit is. Cheers