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"What should children know" is an overloaded question, and if we are talking about developmentally delayed child, it has a completely different meaning. In that

"What should children know" is an overloaded question, and if we are talking about developmentally delayed child, it has a completely different meaning. In that case, there are a certain things a child should know with strong statistical confidence (e.g. 95% of children do this by age X). Of course viewed in normal school children context, this question has a completely different meaning. Even here the author is confusing knowledge with right kind of environment that produces or fosters it. But a test of knowledge does not test the environment, just the final product of it.

balabaster 12y ago
I agree with you - I think when a parent asks "what should my 4 year old know", they are looking for that statistical reference: "Most kids, by the age of 4 know X, know or are in the process of learning Y and probably don't yet grasp Z. if they already know Z, but don't know X, it's not a big deal, they'll get it shortly." Clearly "My kid knows X, Y and Z" isn't what the parent is looking for. I don't care what your kid can do, quite probably my kid can do a bunch of stuff yours can't and vice versa, I don't really care that your kid can do X and mine can do Z, I don't think less of your parenting, nor your child that they can't do Z and it's not a big deal to me that yours can do X. When I ask the question, what I'm really asking is so much more complicated: "Is my kid equipped with enough of the understanding and skills they require to feel at home and confident in the grade they're in, while still learning at an optimal pace for them? Are they keeping up with what's being taught or are they struggling? Are they engaged or disruptive? If they're disruptive, is it because they're struggling to keep up and have disengaged because they've lost hope, or is it because they already understand everything they're being taught and are bored? Are they more/less advanced than the majority of the class, do I need to consider keeping them back a year because they're struggling with a lot of material, do I need to fast-track them ahead a year so they're a better social/educational fit with their peers? Do I need to consider some private tutoring for X, Y or Z because they're struggling or because they've hit the ceiling for their peer group for that subject?" So when I ask "What should my 4 year old know", what I'm really looking for is some assurance: "Relax, your kid is a perfect fit for the grade she's in, she's an amazing child, she's made friends, she's happy, she's engaged, she participates, she's got the confidence to speak, she listens well to instruction and to her peers, she understands and retains information well - she's on par with the rest of her class, a bit ahead in X, a bit behind in Y, but nothing that you need to spend any time worrying about. Just concentrate on having fun with her and enjoying her childhood, she's doing fine."
- jwdunne 12y ago
  This hits the nail on the head - nobody at all wants to hear about other "slightly ahead" children and such, these things are not useful. People are looking for major deficits. I know for a fact this is what I was looking for with my son, who is 4 years old with the speech/language skills of a 2 year old -- these things were absolutely important, especially when there were people in his life who were totally in denial. Thanks to these measures, my son can get the help he needs through a speech and language therapist. Impossible if there was nothing to tell everybody that something is wrong. With my daughter, who is 5 months, I also regularly look up the same things. It's more of an assurance than anything. It's important to stress that they are a rough measure. As I said earlier, looking out for major deficits, the big red flags. Slightly ahead in one area, a bit behind in another means nothing - each child develops at different paces and at different speeds and these little over-achievements or under-achievements. These things, bundled with a parent like me, is enough to make me fret and get worried but the more it happens the more you learn that if there's no big red flags, the little yellow/green ones are nothing to worry about. I've lost a few nights sleep before learning this one.

balabaster 12y ago

I agree with you - I think when a parent asks "what should my 4 year old know", they are looking for that statistical reference: "Most kids, by the age of 4 know X, know or are in the process of learning Y and probably don't yet grasp Z. if they already know Z, but don't know X, it's not a big deal, they'll get it shortly." Clearly "My kid knows X, Y and Z" isn't what the parent is looking for. I don't care what your kid can do, quite probably my kid can do a bunch of stuff yours can't and vice versa, I don't really care that your kid can do X and mine can do Z, I don't think less of your parenting, nor your child that they can't do Z and it's not a big deal to me that yours can do X. When I ask the question, what I'm really asking is so much more complicated: "Is my kid equipped with enough of the understanding and skills they require to feel at home and confident in the grade they're in, while still learning at an optimal pace for them? Are they keeping up with what's being taught or are they struggling? Are they engaged or disruptive? If they're disruptive, is it because they're struggling to keep up and have disengaged because they've lost hope, or is it because they already understand everything they're being taught and are bored? Are they more/less advanced than the majority of the class, do I need to consider keeping them back a year because they're struggling with a lot of material, do I need to fast-track them ahead a year so they're a better social/educational fit with their peers? Do I need to consider some private tutoring for X, Y or Z because they're struggling or because they've hit the ceiling for their peer group for that subject?" So when I ask "What should my 4 year old know", what I'm really looking for is some assurance: "Relax, your kid is a perfect fit for the grade she's in, she's an amazing child, she's made friends, she's happy, she's engaged, she participates, she's got the confidence to speak, she listens well to instruction and to her peers, she understands and retains information well - she's on par with the rest of her class, a bit ahead in X, a bit behind in Y, but nothing that you need to spend any time worrying about. Just concentrate on having fun with her and enjoying her childhood, she's doing fine."

jwdunne 12y ago
This hits the nail on the head - nobody at all wants to hear about other "slightly ahead" children and such, these things are not useful. People are looking for major deficits. I know for a fact this is what I was looking for with my son, who is 4 years old with the speech/language skills of a 2 year old -- these things were absolutely important, especially when there were people in his life who were totally in denial. Thanks to these measures, my son can get the help he needs through a speech and language therapist. Impossible if there was nothing to tell everybody that something is wrong. With my daughter, who is 5 months, I also regularly look up the same things. It's more of an assurance than anything. It's important to stress that they are a rough measure. As I said earlier, looking out for major deficits, the big red flags. Slightly ahead in one area, a bit behind in another means nothing - each child develops at different paces and at different speeds and these little over-achievements or under-achievements. These things, bundled with a parent like me, is enough to make me fret and get worried but the more it happens the more you learn that if there's no big red flags, the little yellow/green ones are nothing to worry about. I've lost a few nights sleep before learning this one.