5 ms·

In the article, it says: "Bob claimed to be philosophically opposed to marriage; Jacqui was fine with that." so I suppose they didn't get married at all.

by S4M 12y ago

yebyen 12y ago
The people who came to my engagement party this weekend and said they don't believe in marriage as a public statement to family, friends, and everyone, about making a permanent commitment (for themselves) are the same people who are the only ones not really asking prying questions about "setting a date," which I really appreciate, since that's between me and my other half, and at the same time I feel like I can know that they are supportive of my engagement. I'm not sure what it means to be "philosophically opposed" to marriage in and of itself. I guess it's more self-explanatory in the context of this story though, certainly always in hindsight or with perfect information.
- dllthomas 12y ago
  Since you will presumably be asking these people to adjust their own plans once you do set a date, some interest seems entirely appropriate and characterising it as a purely private matter ("that's between me and my other half") uncharitable. Which is not to say that all forms of query on the topic are appropriate, or that repetition across many of even appropriate queries mightn't get annoying.
  - yebyen 12y ago
    Of course. The point was not about my own situation, but to draw the nearest analogy to "don't believe in marriage" at all that I had at hand. I am really less upset about the people who are asking the question than I may have made it out to sound. It's very important (and would conversely be missed if missing) to have family and friends who are interested, even if they are all asking the same question where it might feel like pressure that we just don't want to have right now.
    - dllthomas 12y ago
      Right - just trying to help keep things in perspective. Congratulations, by the way! :)
      - yebyen 12y ago
        Thank you! :)
- S4M 12y ago
  In this article, my guess is that Bob said to be "philosophically opposed" to marriage to avoid marrying Jaqui, the real reason behind that is that it would leave a trail of official papers behind him, which is not something you want to do if you're an undercover investigating agent.
  - yebyen 12y ago
    Yes, clearly. I would be interested to hear such an argument from anyone who was not trying to conceal their identity as a secret agent (or anyone convincing enough who actually was still hiding this way, for that matter, but in the actual time before their outing and not in retrospect with that knowledge already revealed). Surely there must be such an argument, maybe this is too far off topic and not the place for it here.

In the article, it says: "Bob claimed to be philosophically opposed to marriage; Jacqui was fine with that." so I suppose they didn't get married at all.

by S4M 12y ago

In the article, it says: "Bob claimed to be philosophically opposed to marriage; Jacqui was fine with that." so I suppose they didn't get married at all.

yebyen 12y ago

The people who came to my engagement party this weekend and said they don't believe in marriage as a public statement to family, friends, and everyone, about making a permanent commitment (for themselves) are the same people who are the only ones not really asking prying questions about "setting a date," which I really appreciate, since that's between me and my other half, and at the same time I feel like I can know that they are supportive of my engagement. I'm not sure what it means to be "philosophically opposed" to marriage in and of itself. I guess it's more self-explanatory in the context of this story though, certainly always in hindsight or with perfect information.

dllthomas 12y ago
Since you will presumably be asking these people to adjust their own plans once you do set a date, some interest seems entirely appropriate and characterising it as a purely private matter ("that's between me and my other half") uncharitable. Which is not to say that all forms of query on the topic are appropriate, or that repetition across many of even appropriate queries mightn't get annoying.
- yebyen 12y ago
  Of course. The point was not about my own situation, but to draw the nearest analogy to "don't believe in marriage" at all that I had at hand. I am really less upset about the people who are asking the question than I may have made it out to sound. It's very important (and would conversely be missed if missing) to have family and friends who are interested, even if they are all asking the same question where it might feel like pressure that we just don't want to have right now.
  - dllthomas 12y ago
    Right - just trying to help keep things in perspective. Congratulations, by the way! :)
    - yebyen 12y ago
      Thank you! :)
S4M 12y ago
In this article, my guess is that Bob said to be "philosophically opposed" to marriage to avoid marrying Jaqui, the real reason behind that is that it would leave a trail of official papers behind him, which is not something you want to do if you're an undercover investigating agent.
- yebyen 12y ago
  Yes, clearly. I would be interested to hear such an argument from anyone who was not trying to conceal their identity as a secret agent (or anyone convincing enough who actually was still hiding this way, for that matter, but in the actual time before their outing and not in retrospect with that knowledge already revealed). Surely there must be such an argument, maybe this is too far off topic and not the place for it here.