5 ms·

Hair touching aside, the amount of space required between people is bordering on the absurd. I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable but two arm lengths of personal sp

Hair touching aside, the amount of space required between people is bordering on the absurd. I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable but two arm lengths of personal space at all times is not something you're entitled to. It's like we all want to live in a bubble. In non-western countries bumping into someone isn't the traumatizing horror it is in the US. It's just about expectations, if people didn't expect to have a vastness of empty air around them they wouldn't suffer PTSD for the rest of the day when someone stood almost within touching distance of them. I'm not saying it's OK to be breathing down people's necks and people should consider the comfort zones of others, but it's kind of extreme in the US. If there's an empty chair next to you, I'll sit in it, and if there's a public urinal available next to yours I'll make use of it. Deal with it.

Squarel 12y ago
That is because different cultures have different customs. In some cultures it is acceptable to hug and put your arm around someone you have not met before, in others, even non-western ones, it is seen as extremely rude. My language teacher when I moved here was telling our mixed nationality class about how in her perception, as you moved further north from the Mediterranean, the personal space people have increases, and how this does not mean people are not comfortable with people near them. This was in the same lesson where we started covering different gestures and how offensive in one is fine in another. Two arms length is a farther than I usually have, but coming within an arms length if I do not know you, especially at a party, unless to tap my shoulder for attention will make me feel uncomfortable. Two arms length requires me to raise my voice to talk to you, which I consider ruder than being close. That aside, the OP reads more like a "How to social engineer" than a how to be polite.
- bellerocky 12y ago
  I wonder if maybe the amount of space required between people contributes to a shared sense of isolation and maybe even entitlement.
- manmal 12y ago
  Regarding "How to social engineer" - I rather read it as a nice way to keep emotional distance to people without being cold. I think I'm gonna try it - I have a tendency to constantly judge people which I want to get rid of anyway.
- philwelch 12y ago
  Distance from the Mediterranean sounds about right. Americans inherit our sense of personal space from the English, more or less. Some cultures are even more extreme: http://i.imgur.com/g2DQgr5.jpg http://i.imgur.com/g2DQgr5.jpg
- tripzilch 12y ago
  > Two arms length requires me to raise my voice to talk to you, which I consider ruder than being close. I've been paying attention to this and have come to the conclusion that this is one of the major factors why Americans are perceived as "loud". As you indicate, this can lead to another type of invasion of personal space (for those who aren't part of that particular conversation).
tacawa 12y ago
Part of being polite is being able to adjust to different cultural norms. With that attitude you might have a tough time in Galway, and do okay in Shanghai. But it's not hard to do okay in both places.
Lambdanaut 12y ago
I've noticed this effect in eastern cultures, particularly in eastern cultures that have large native population densities. I work for an Indian company and all of my co-workers are extremely laid-back and seem to have no sense of personal space whatsover. It's really not a bad thing! They often lean on each other's shoulders and are very huggy. They're not afraid to play-fight and it doesn't become an awkward space-invasion thing. It's just human interaction for them.
manmal 12y ago
Yeah as a central European it strikes me as quite weird when I hear Americans ranting about how people get way too close to them in queues. And I can't relate to the anger they seem to experience as a result. Wikipedia says "Personal space is highly variable, and can be due to cultural differences and personal experiences."[1] - cultural differences, yes, yes. [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_space http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_space
maxerickson 12y ago
I see 2 feet, not 2 arms. I also don't see a whole lot of angst over it (in the article), just that it's polite to give people that much space.
angersock 12y ago
That's just straight-up cultural norms; just because it's customary in the US (and maybe even then only in certain areas), doesn't mean it's the same everywhere. To wit: a former coworker of mine was Romanian, and a rather tall fellow. Whenever he wanted to talk about something, he'd sidle up within about a foot and start chatting. This was unnerving because he was probably 6'4 or 6'5, and suddenly he was all up in my business--once I realized that it was just different norms, I was fine with it.
- the-dude 12y ago
  There is a Seinfeld for every social occasion, a bit like xkcd: "The Close Talker" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM

Squarel 12y ago

That is because different cultures have different customs. In some cultures it is acceptable to hug and put your arm around someone you have not met before, in others, even non-western ones, it is seen as extremely rude. My language teacher when I moved here was telling our mixed nationality class about how in her perception, as you moved further north from the Mediterranean, the personal space people have increases, and how this does not mean people are not comfortable with people near them. This was in the same lesson where we started covering different gestures and how offensive in one is fine in another. Two arms length is a farther than I usually have, but coming within an arms length if I do not know you, especially at a party, unless to tap my shoulder for attention will make me feel uncomfortable. Two arms length requires me to raise my voice to talk to you, which I consider ruder than being close. That aside, the OP reads more like a "How to social engineer" than a how to be polite.

bellerocky 12y ago
I wonder if maybe the amount of space required between people contributes to a shared sense of isolation and maybe even entitlement.
manmal 12y ago
Regarding "How to social engineer" - I rather read it as a nice way to keep emotional distance to people without being cold. I think I'm gonna try it - I have a tendency to constantly judge people which I want to get rid of anyway.
philwelch 12y ago
Distance from the Mediterranean sounds about right. Americans inherit our sense of personal space from the English, more or less. Some cultures are even more extreme: http://i.imgur.com/g2DQgr5.jpg http://i.imgur.com/g2DQgr5.jpg
tripzilch 12y ago
> Two arms length requires me to raise my voice to talk to you, which I consider ruder than being close. I've been paying attention to this and have come to the conclusion that this is one of the major factors why Americans are perceived as "loud". As you indicate, this can lead to another type of invasion of personal space (for those who aren't part of that particular conversation).

tacawa 12y ago

Part of being polite is being able to adjust to different cultural norms. With that attitude you might have a tough time in Galway, and do okay in Shanghai. But it's not hard to do okay in both places.

Lambdanaut 12y ago

I've noticed this effect in eastern cultures, particularly in eastern cultures that have large native population densities. I work for an Indian company and all of my co-workers are extremely laid-back and seem to have no sense of personal space whatsover. It's really not a bad thing! They often lean on each other's shoulders and are very huggy. They're not afraid to play-fight and it doesn't become an awkward space-invasion thing. It's just human interaction for them.

manmal 12y ago

Yeah as a central European it strikes me as quite weird when I hear Americans ranting about how people get way too close to them in queues. And I can't relate to the anger they seem to experience as a result. Wikipedia says "Personal space is highly variable, and can be due to cultural differences and personal experiences."[1] - cultural differences, yes, yes. [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_space http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_space

maxerickson 12y ago

I see 2 feet, not 2 arms. I also don't see a whole lot of angst over it (in the article), just that it's polite to give people that much space.

angersock 12y ago

That's just straight-up cultural norms; just because it's customary in the US (and maybe even then only in certain areas), doesn't mean it's the same everywhere. To wit: a former coworker of mine was Romanian, and a rather tall fellow. Whenever he wanted to talk about something, he'd sidle up within about a foot and start chatting. This was unnerving because he was probably 6'4 or 6'5, and suddenly he was all up in my business--once I realized that it was just different norms, I was fine with it.

the-dude 12y ago
There is a Seinfeld for every social occasion, a bit like xkcd: "The Close Talker" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM