5 ms·

> Women have to give up more than men. I don't think the couple weeks most women might consider the minimum during maternity leave is significant. It seems pr

by ssmoot 12y ago

> Women have to give up more than men. I don't think the couple weeks most women might consider the minimum during maternity leave is significant. It seems pretty even IMO. Waiting until your 40's, 50's or 60's for a man doesn't come without it's own trade-offs. Most men who "someday want a family", entrepreneurs or not, are probably going to want to start a family before 40 I'd guess. I don't think gender probably plays a very big role in the "when" decision.

jchrisa 12y ago
I hope people are taking more than a couple of weeks. I know this is America and all, but 2 weeks?!? If I was a (male) CEO I'd definitely take more time than that, at least to set an example that people shouldn't feel like they can't take time.
- ssmoot 12y ago
  You'd hope. That's all I could take off (paid) for my daughter's birth though. I had a little more time for my son's (first born). Leaving out details, but I'll say my wife's time/compensation package was _far_ better than mine. If anything her career has accelerated sharply since our first born. Which is positive of course. But it certainly seems counter to the "prevailing wisdom" on HN.
  - smtddr 12y ago
    >>If anything her career has accelerated sharply since our first born. Which is positive of course. But it certainly seems counter to the "prevailing wisdom" on HN. Earlier you said: >>I cook the vast majority of breakfasts/dinners/meal-planning. Do almost all the dishes. Do 75% of the day-care pick-ups/drop-offs. Most of the late-at-the-office-hours are hers. I think your situation is not the norm. Not saying it's right or wrong, but it's not the norm. btw, I'm married with a 3yr.old daughter and a son on the way. In case this context is needed.
jahewson 12y ago
Your homework for today is to go ask your mother if having and raising a child is equivalent to taking two weeks off work.
- ssmoot 12y ago
  I'm not even sure what your point is. Other than trying to be offensive. I have two young children. I cook the vast majority of breakfasts/dinners/meal-planning. Do almost all the dishes. Do 75% of the day-care pick-ups/drop-offs. Most of the late-at-the-office-hours are hers. If you're going to get into a discussion about gender bias it'd probably help to leave your own at the door.
  - jahewson 12y ago
    Actually, I grew up in a family like that and my mother would still disagree with you, vehemently.
    - ssmoot 12y ago
      That a couple weeks of maternity leave isn't a career killer? I'm guessing here because you haven't left me much to go on, other than you seem to think your Dad didn't do his fair share I guess? Or my assertion that having kids while you're still young, having time to see them grow up and be an active part of their lives, seeing them go on to make their own families, that all that stuff is something men in general think about as well?
cyorir 12y ago
While "gender identity" probably doesn't play a large role in the "when" decision, unfortunately "gender expectations" do. Most societies expect different things of different genders, regardless of what the individual wants, leading to social pressures. Luckily that doesn't apply to America as much these days.
jiggy2011 12y ago
The problem is childcare which lasts much longer than 2 weeks. A woman who wants to focus on career and have children would be best served marrying a guy with less career aspirations than her which she would be less likely to run into in corporate circles.
- ssmoot 12y ago
  I'm not sure this assertion holds any water for one. But I don't see how this could be framed a gender specific issue for another I suppose. Either way make sure your partner understands your ambitions when you get together?
  - jiggy2011 12y ago
    There are probably selection factors at play too in that there are simply less men available who want to be househusbands than there are women who want to be housewives. Successful men are probably also sexually more attractive to women than vice versa, an aspiring househusband with a low paid job would probably find it harder to get a date with a female CEO than the other way around. http://www.anthro.utah.edu/PDFs/ec_evolanth.pdf http://www.anthro.utah.edu/PDFs/ec_evolanth.pdf
    - judk 12y ago
      Don't worry, there aren't very many CEOs total. There are plenty of trophy husbands to go around.

by ssmoot 12y ago

jchrisa 12y ago

I hope people are taking more than a couple of weeks. I know this is America and all, but 2 weeks?!? If I was a (male) CEO I'd definitely take more time than that, at least to set an example that people shouldn't feel like they can't take time.

ssmoot 12y ago
You'd hope. That's all I could take off (paid) for my daughter's birth though. I had a little more time for my son's (first born). Leaving out details, but I'll say my wife's time/compensation package was _far_ better than mine. If anything her career has accelerated sharply since our first born. Which is positive of course. But it certainly seems counter to the "prevailing wisdom" on HN.
- smtddr 12y ago
  >>If anything her career has accelerated sharply since our first born. Which is positive of course. But it certainly seems counter to the "prevailing wisdom" on HN. Earlier you said: >>I cook the vast majority of breakfasts/dinners/meal-planning. Do almost all the dishes. Do 75% of the day-care pick-ups/drop-offs. Most of the late-at-the-office-hours are hers. I think your situation is not the norm. Not saying it's right or wrong, but it's not the norm. btw, I'm married with a 3yr.old daughter and a son on the way. In case this context is needed.

jahewson 12y ago

Your homework for today is to go ask your mother if having and raising a child is equivalent to taking two weeks off work.

ssmoot 12y ago
I'm not even sure what your point is. Other than trying to be offensive. I have two young children. I cook the vast majority of breakfasts/dinners/meal-planning. Do almost all the dishes. Do 75% of the day-care pick-ups/drop-offs. Most of the late-at-the-office-hours are hers. If you're going to get into a discussion about gender bias it'd probably help to leave your own at the door.
- jahewson 12y ago
  Actually, I grew up in a family like that and my mother would still disagree with you, vehemently.
  - ssmoot 12y ago
    That a couple weeks of maternity leave isn't a career killer? I'm guessing here because you haven't left me much to go on, other than you seem to think your Dad didn't do his fair share I guess? Or my assertion that having kids while you're still young, having time to see them grow up and be an active part of their lives, seeing them go on to make their own families, that all that stuff is something men in general think about as well?

cyorir 12y ago

While "gender identity" probably doesn't play a large role in the "when" decision, unfortunately "gender expectations" do. Most societies expect different things of different genders, regardless of what the individual wants, leading to social pressures. Luckily that doesn't apply to America as much these days.

jiggy2011 12y ago

The problem is childcare which lasts much longer than 2 weeks. A woman who wants to focus on career and have children would be best served marrying a guy with less career aspirations than her which she would be less likely to run into in corporate circles.

ssmoot 12y ago
I'm not sure this assertion holds any water for one. But I don't see how this could be framed a gender specific issue for another I suppose. Either way make sure your partner understands your ambitions when you get together?
- jiggy2011 12y ago
  There are probably selection factors at play too in that there are simply less men available who want to be househusbands than there are women who want to be housewives. Successful men are probably also sexually more attractive to women than vice versa, an aspiring househusband with a low paid job would probably find it harder to get a date with a female CEO than the other way around. http://www.anthro.utah.edu/PDFs/ec_evolanth.pdf http://www.anthro.utah.edu/PDFs/ec_evolanth.pdf
  - judk 12y ago
    Don't worry, there aren't very many CEOs total. There are plenty of trophy husbands to go around.