I am sorry you are having a rough time. I think writing a journal, especially a private or anonymous one, is an exercise in introspection (where it is not a sh

I am sorry you are having a rough time. I think writing a journal, especially a private or anonymous one, is an exercise in introspection (where it is not a short-term venting exercise). While that can be fruitful for certain kinds of problem, the danger is that you fall into a self-reinforcing thought pattern. Looking at it another way, it is rare to be able to psychoanalyse yourself - even therapists have therapists. I think finding some kind of support network, be it family, friends, counseling or even the anonymous support that the Internet is so good at providing, may be better for you, if not your writing skills.