(I work on risk at Stripe.) Most of that list is bank legalese we're contractually bound to include in our ToS. This is not to say these restrictions don't mean

(I work on risk at Stripe.) Most of that list is bank legalese we're contractually bound to include in our ToS. This is not to say these restrictions don't mean anything; just that I wouldn't interpret them too literally. We've actually just created a much more coherent version of this list, and it will be up on the site as soon as we can get our banking partners onboard. As for your specific case, please email me at anurag@stripe.com and we can try to figure out if Stripe can somehow work for you.