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But what exactly constitutes "beating" Autism? Is this actually desirable? I was diagnosed with Asperger's in the mid-90s. I wrote about the experience anonymo

• sliverstorm 12y ago
  It seems like it would be important to distinguish between high-functioning autism & severe autism? I mean, there's "That guy is a little weird" autism, and then there's "That kid can't communicate with anyone or perform basic motor activities" autism.
• bignaj 12y ago
  One benefit would be increased ability to navigate/enjoy complex social situations and understand implicit cues. It sounds like although you were "cured" of Asperger's (whatever that means) you may still have been very much an introvert. This would explain why it was draining for you to go and glad-hand everyone. Another reply to your comment alongside mine seems to show the same experience. The other perspective: I'm an extrovert and it invigorates me to go meet people, while I feel somewhat anxious if I'm sitting alone all day with little social interaction.
  • throwaway58 12y ago
    > It sounds like although you were "cured" of Asperger's No. We are never cured; we learn to cope if we have the mental capability. We are not cured.
    • bignaj 12y ago
      I understand that, which is why I put it in double quotes and qualified the statement. It doesn't seem to me like you can flip a switch and be "cured." Another question -- what's the overlap/relationship between introversion and autism/Asperger's? I'm not saying introverts have Asperger's, I'm wondering if people with Asperger's are often also introverted. (lots of trigger-happy people thinking I said you had autism for being an introvert... which is not what I asked)
      • yupmetoo 12y ago
        An introvert will lose energy rather than gain it in complex or highly active social situations, but will still emotionally feel a good connection with the person or people they're around. Someone with ASD has a much more difficult time "feeling" the positive benefits of socialization, whilst they may learn to enjoy it more from a left-brain analytical perspective. Not to say its a lack of empathy, in fact you can actively feel other's emotions in many cases, but the actual inner feelings of community and belonging may be pretty muted.
      • Dewie 12y ago
        I wonder if there is an overlap/relationship between being extroverted and being offensive?
• yupmetoo 12y ago
  Thats exactly how I feel myself. I've learned all the social games and have a lot of friends, high levels of success both professionally and socially, but its extremely rare that I feel a real connection to the people I'm around. I always feel like I'm faking, and its somewhat exhausting to keep my face up. I was also diagnosed with ASD in the 90s, and had probably a 10 year old's social ability by the time I finished high school. I've made up for a lot of time very quickly, and I no longer feel behind but there is definitely something missing.
• throwaway58 12y ago
  I feel you. The weirdest thing about it for me is that I try to hide this even from myself. I'm trying to be normal all day and think I don't even suffer from autism that badly, but every now and again it just cracks. In a way I'm like everyone else. I care about friends and family; I try to be productive and make useful things; I like learning about new technologies. At the same time I'm also different and people notice it. They don't ask me when a group in class is going out to celebrate the holidays. I'd chicken out of this social happening and probably say no, but what bothers me is that they don't even ask. Some vocalize that they notice something is off and I might tell them about autism and give them an outline of what it means. If I tell them I often also ask if they can put it into concrete examples of what I do differently. They never can. But I'll carry on. I'm normal enough, I can pull through life and make a living. Hope to meet a SO some day who understands me. That probably means she must have her limitations too and I'll have to live with that, but in return she might understand mine and that's worth all the gold in the world. Hope this isn't too weird a post for Hacker News, I needed to write this after reading about a fellow person with autism. Keep hacking.
  • ForrestN 12y ago
    Not too weird at all! Enlightening, generous, and gratefully received here. Difference is not something our society, and it seems most societies, handle well. Here's hoping a better line is found between empowering and transforming.
    • walterbell 12y ago
      The world could use a "Neurodiversity Parenting" equivalent of this book: http://www.amazon.com/World-Babies-Imagined-Childcare-Societies/dp/0521664756/ http://www.amazon.com/World-Babies-Imagined-Childcare-Societ... "Every culture thinks that it knows the best way to care for babies. DeLoache and Gottlieb, both professors at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, have gathered fictionalized accounts, based on factual information and including a brief description of the culture, of how various societies throughout history and the world think their offspring should be raised. Each of these accounts is written in a style similar to Dr. Benjamin Spock's child-care manuals, but using the traditions of each represented culture to create an analogous guidebook. This is an entertaining and educational collection of invented guidebooks spanning the globe. Questions such as what is the key to a successful pregnancy, when to bathe the baby, how long to nurse, and how to celebrate the various ceremonies that revolve around a birth are descriptively explained through the eyes of societies such as the Puritans of New England, the Fulani of western Africa, and a Muslim village in central Turkey. This book is an intriguing opportunity to learn about other cultures."
• genericuser 12y ago
  I realize its a 'that guy' type thing to say but what you are describing sounds simply like the pains of growing up and realizing life involves doing a lot of shit you frankly don't want to do (based on a sample size of 1, with that 1 being me). I was also a happy kid with no friends who tinkered with computers, now I am a reasonably social guy who will try his best to do as you do and obey the social norms I have spent the last 15 years or so trying to learn and master, but which I was blissfully unaware of when I was happy. And yes I will be miserable the whole time. I was never diagnosed with Asperger's though, although I was tested, I simply don't like people. I still miss a lot of social cues especially regarding hitting on people / people hitting on me. But I attribute that to the fact I didn't start trying to learn these things till I was 18 or so. My point is I can't go back to my childhood when I was happy, and I doubt you can either so try to move forward, and I wish you the best of luck finding a way to not be miserable, I know it's what I want for myself.
  • beatit 12y ago
    I'm not sad because I miss being able to play my Game Gear all day anymore. I'm sad because even though I've come far, I constantly second guess myself. I very rarely feel like I can have deep, meaningful interactions with people. I remember back in high school, I deleted my Myspace, because only like 3 people wanted to be on my buddy list. And one of them was Tom Anderson. Now, I "know" a lot of people. Whether you measure it through Twitter followers, Facebook friends, or whatever the hell they call connections on LinkedIn, people are connected to me. I'm actually getting to the point where people even sidle up to me at conferences, trying to curry favor - to network. Everything's coming up Millhouse! But lately, I feel an intense loneliness that I never felt when I was "abnormal".
    • sliverstorm 12y ago
      I very rarely feel like I can have deep, meaningful interactions with people. lately, I feel an intense loneliness that I never felt when I was "abnormal" Anecdotally, as someone who was never diagnosed with any kind of autism, welcome to the club :) Seriously, as best I can tell adulthood is like that for everyone. You can still find those deep meaningful interactions, but they aren't common and they are probably with special people you have a deep rapport with, rather than somebody you met thirty minutes ago. It was so much easier to "connect" with people when I was younger. If I am to wax philosophical, I would bet that's related to the development of the "sense of self". Young kids don't have as strong of a concept of identity, so it's easier for them to connect with others.
• skierscott 12y ago
  I came to say something along these lines. I'm a severe traumatic brain injury patient, and as you might imagine, there have been a huge number of deficits. These ranged from (at first) linear and concrete thinking to (prolonged) poor planning and lack of social tact. While brain injuries lie in a special place where you can change who you are, there is nothing wrong with living with a deficit. You go about life in a sane and rational way and deal with these deficits like anyone else. That was the big aha moment for me. At first, I felt like there was something wrong with me and it had to be cured. Then one day I literally thought "I'm dealing with these issues like anyone would." That changed my view on the world; there was nothing wrong with me, just stuff I lived with. "Beating" autism rings of the undertones of curing something wrong with you. While it's not desirable (at least for me. I haven't been exposed to the positives), there's nothing wrong with it. I have a friend who is deaf; she had a bible-toting lady come up to her and say "God can cure you!" But she didn't even want to be cured. She's proud and grateful for her deafness.
• mullingitover 12y ago
  > But what exactly constitutes "beating" Autism? Is this actually desirable? I'd call it the ability to care for oneself independently, generally meaning the ability to hold a job and manage personal affairs. Asperger's and full-blown autism are very different things. This is like comparing a common cold with a life-threatening case of pneumonia. I worked with autistic people for six years. In the best cases, they weren't able to care for themselves, but they had few enough behavioral problems that they could go on brief 'outings' in the community with staff never more than a few feet away. In the worst cases, they were violent, engaging in serious self-harm, as well as attacking others. I had to take assault response training and use it on a regular basis. They spent little or no time with their families, had no friends, and usually hated the other clients in their group home. It was not a good life, despite the best efforts of the staff. tl;dr: yes, in my experience, beating autism is highly desirable.
  • makomk 12y ago
    From what I've been able to tell, Asperger's and autism aren't that different at all. The main diagnostic difference is whether someone develops language at the usual age, and apparently that's not necessarily all that indicative of how well they'll do when older.
    • azernik 12y ago
      People generally write about Asperger's and autism as points on a spectrum; towards the autism end of that spectrum, people can be incapable of taking care of themselves on a day-to-day basis, which in my opinion (and I think mullingitover's) is the real issue.
  • joepie91_ 12y ago
    > Asperger's and full-blown autism are very different things. This is like comparing a common cold with a life-threatening case of pneumonia. They're really not. > I worked with autistic people for six years. In the best cases, they weren't able to care for themselves, but they had few enough behavioral problems that they could go on brief 'outings' in the community with staff never more than a few feet away. In the worst cases, they were violent, engaging in serious self-harm, as well as attacking others. I had to take assault response training and use it on a regular basis. I have lived in a number of 'mental healthcare' institutions in the Netherlands for a few years. One of them was (supposedly) specialized in 'autism spectrum disorders'. My experiences do not match what you are describing at all. I'd argue that almost half of the people living there would have been able to care for themselves, had it been necessary - and these were mostly people under 18, so that's a lot. The (rare) case of violence or self-harm derived from other mental issues that weren't in any way related to autism, and frequently a result of their living in the facility. > They spent little or no time with their families, had no friends, and usually hated the other clients in their group home. It was not a good life, despite the best efforts of the staff. This doesn't surprise me. By far the biggest harm to these people is done by the staff, who appear to be completely oblivious to how people actually think, and try to fit them into a 'treatment' programme. I have seen multiple people break down completely as a result of their living in said facility, who would not otherwise have significant problems - hell, I've been one of them. Not having friends doesn't surprise me either. The facility that I've lived in - and, from what I've heard, other facilities as well - essentially put you into social isolation. It's near impossible to maintain social contacts with anybody outside the facility, and staff appears to be so blind for what's actually going on that you have no trustable person to talk to either. Little contact with family doesn't surprise me either; the reason people ended up in those facilities was usually because their parents were unable to understand them. Of course you're not going to have a healthy relationship with them. Here's a blog post I wrote a while ago, that gives you the perspective of a 'client': http://cryto.net/~joepie91/blog/2014/04/07/depression/ http://cryto.net/~joepie91/blog/2014/04/07/depression/ For a bit more context, not elaborated on in that blog post; for over a year after I left that particular facility, I've been unable to experience any emotions other than anger and sadness. These kind of facilities destroy people. They're more often the cause of problems, than they are a solution. > tl;dr: yes, in my experience, beating autism is highly desirable. You need to understand that some people simply think or behave differently. As long as it gets them through life in a sufficiently happy manner, there's nothing to "beat" or "fix".
• philliphaydon 12y ago
  No doubt I'll get down voted for this. I don't believe your unhappiness is the result of being more social and what people probably consider 'socially normal'. I think it's the life-style you've chosen for yourself, maybe because you believe that's how you need to be or how everyone expects you to be. In the mid 90s you were younger and (i assume) had less things to worry about in life. Happiness is what you make of it. I was told I have ADHD in the mid 90s, but looking back on it, I was just bored and never challenged, I was more social back then, went out a lot. But I can't say I was overly happy... Now it's 2014 and I've moved from NZ to Asia and have fewer friends and am not as social as I used to be. In-fact I often avoid going out if I can. But I'm far happier, I'm programming all the time and love the challenge, and I get to travel around Asia and see how beautiful the world can be. I wouldn't change anything I have right now for anything. I realise ADHD is far from the same as Autism or Aspergers. But I don't believe I faced any less challenges in life with doctors telling me I need to take drugs, to teachers telling my parents there was no hope for me and I would be a bum. (yes a teacher actually told my parents that I would be a bum living on the streets) And spending most of my schooling years sitting outside the principles office for getting in trouble, all the time.