10 ms·

Launching a start-up and having a family life: It’s possible

92 points by peter123 17y ago

nuweborder 17y ago
Surround yourself with supportive people that understand your sacrifice and your hard work. Whom understand the long hours, and the large feat that you are trying to accomplish, and you can be successful. Have a supportive wife/husband, parents, friends etc, and you will be ok. If they are not supportive, then maybe they are not the ones for you. Cannot do both without that support.
sachinag 17y ago
Work, life, sleep: choose two. This is different from college how?
- gruseom 17y ago
  "Life" before you have children is very different than "life" afterward.
  - timf 17y ago
    Same with "sleep" (which in turn will directly affect our kind of work).
wglb 17y ago
Seen this before, but I like the article. I have been involved in three--one well before I had kids, one now that the kids are out of the house, and the other, well, that was not all that good--was not following his examples.
deleted 17y ago
[deleted]
- daeken 17y ago
  This article really had little (if anything) to do with the capabilities of experienced business people, and more to do with how he (the writer) managed to balance a family life and his startups.
  - krschultz 17y ago
    Whoops, commenting on the other story on HN about how older founders are more successful. Too many tabs in Firefox.
daeken 17y ago
Sometimes an article comes up somewhere that fits life perfectly for that moment. I'm currently on vacation, taking some time to figure out how I can achieve a normal life (family, real social life, etc) while running a startup. A lot of his checklist I figured out (but rarely followed) when I was working a normal job and trying to balance my fiancee and my startup, and some I figured out when looking back, but things like the family dinner and engaging your spouse just didn't really occur to me there. Hopefully I can take his information and make things work out better in the future.
Tichy 17y ago
"back at work for another 4 or 5 hours until the wee hours of the morning." What if you need sleep?
- nopassrecover 17y ago
  Don't start a startup.
AlphaEvolve 17y ago
To be perfectly honest, you got to ask my ex-wife about this.. I learned this the hard way unfortunately. Before starting a venture, make sure the foundation of your couple and family are strong. It takes a LOT of commitment, patience, energy just to get yourself started. Imagine that you have to invest as much on the personal level too (if not more). If you don't, your partner/wife will resent you. I know it's hard, but always try to balance things out. Time management is a key. Edit: I am now where I wanted to be professionally, it took me more than a year of hard work, sleepless night juggling between a fulltime job, my ventures, and divorce documents.. I am 'successful', but no one to share it with :(
- BerislavLopac 17y ago
  The trouble is in knowing the strength of the foundation. Too often we don't want to admit the failure and keep bad things going because of all the wrong reasons -- kids, mortgages, income etc.
  - AlphaEvolve 17y ago
    Agree. Look even if you share the same vision of long term growth when you just get married, the reality of the short term responsibilities mobilize all your time and focus. So I learned that there is no such things as tacite mutual agreement in marriage. You've got to remind your partner your long term common objective almost constantly. I thought it's a given, it's not. To take a programming analogy, setting the variables at the beginning of your code is not enough, you've got to use 'global $variablename' within functions (like function workinglate($longtermvision, $values, $love)) to make sure your variables are set and passed on to each function/decision. Btw, the programming analogy seems to apply that on all types of relationships: couple, work, business partnerships. For some mysterious reasons, short terms challenges (bills, rent, mortgage, loans, etc.) keep blinding our long term objectives.
  - igrekel 17y ago
    Not sure I would list kids in the wrong reasons tough.
- 17y ago
dpcan 17y ago
Having kids is a huge motivator to succeed. I started my business when I had one son. I was young and had no fear. Now I have 4, a mortgage, etc, so basically failure is not an option without major consequences. It keeps me hungry for success and doesn't slow me down in the slightest.
briancooley 17y ago
The biggest factor that Blank had in his favor was that he worked outside his home. If you are going the "garage route" like a lot of YC companies, then I think it is much harder - maybe impossible - especially when your children are young. An environment with your kids in it isn't particularly conducive to working, and young kids will want you to be engaged all the time. There's not a noprocrast setting on a two-year-old.
- tptacek 17y ago
  Which is why you should never go this route. Work in the local library and a coffee shop (for scheduled calls). It's better than your home office and it keeps your hours clear.
dshah 17y ago
Sure, it's possible -- lots of things are possible. However, I'd argue that it's pretty improbable (at least in the early stages).
jagtesh 17y ago
Excellent article. Here's what'll stay with me: "The irony is when I was working insane hours it was to make someone else wealthy. When I moderated my behavior it was when they were my startups." and.. "This life isn’t practice for the next one." I'm probably much younger than most entrepreneurs here (I'm 22), but I could relate to everything Steve had to say. And I'll add to it; it doesn't pay to be burnt out with unhappy people all around you. The negative energy undoubtedly has an impact on oneself. But what takes the cake, is the realization about how you'd like your gravestone to read.
abalashov 17y ago
I think one of the most difficult things about this to manage politically is actually the reconciliation of http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html with the comparatively pedantic, very detail-oriented and exacting household maintenance methodologies of most women, and the expectations they have for you to participate.
maxer 17y ago
how about an article on working full time, coding any spare chance you have, attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.
maxer 17y ago
how about an article on working full time, coding in any spare time you have, attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.
araneae 17y ago
Revised title: "Launching a start-up and having a family life: It's possible if you're a man and can dump all the child-rearing on your wife."
- generalk 17y ago
  Point of order: a female entrepreneur could just as easily put the child-rearing on her husband.* And there's no need for the negative connotation: is it impossible that one partner can happily take the lion's share of the child-rearing duties so that the other can focus on a business? * applies for all two-gender permutations
bayareaguy 17y ago
Curiously absent from his list is time spent on social networks (including HN).
nopassrecover 17y ago
Er this is just a verbatim repost of http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur/ http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur.... See http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=663432 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=663432
ganley 17y ago
WhatEVER. Working until 7, then several more hours after the kids go to bed, and half a day on Saturday, doesn't fit any definition of "balance" that interests me. Also, you've carved out a couple of hours a day for your kids, but what about your wife? Those hours after the kids go to bed are our best quality time alone.
rjurney 17y ago
A recent quote from a local VC: I've never known an entrepreneur to bootstrap a business to a big win who's marriage survived doing so. Which is what made me leave Atlanta for Silicon Valley.
- tptacek 17y ago
  And I know multiple entrepreneurs who did exactly that who have amazing families. You want probably the worst person in the world to take life planning advice from? "A local VC".
  - rjurney 17y ago
    Hahaha, I don't know anyone who bootstrapped a startup to serious cash since 2002 in Atlanta, PERIOD - and I've looked really hard, talked to everyone in town - let alone that did it and kept a family.

92 points by peter123 17y ago

Surround yourself with supportive people that understand your sacrifice and your hard work. Whom understand the long hours, and the large feat that you are trying to accomplish, and you can be successful. Have a supportive wife/husband, parents, friends etc, and you will be ok. If they are not supportive, then maybe they are not the ones for you. Cannot do both without that support.

sachinag 17y ago

Work, life, sleep: choose two. This is different from college how?

gruseom 17y ago
"Life" before you have children is very different than "life" afterward.
- timf 17y ago
  Same with "sleep" (which in turn will directly affect our kind of work).

wglb 17y ago

Seen this before, but I like the article. I have been involved in three--one well before I had kids, one now that the kids are out of the house, and the other, well, that was not all that good--was not following his examples.

deleted 17y ago

[deleted]

daeken 17y ago
This article really had little (if anything) to do with the capabilities of experienced business people, and more to do with how he (the writer) managed to balance a family life and his startups.
- krschultz 17y ago
  Whoops, commenting on the other story on HN about how older founders are more successful. Too many tabs in Firefox.

daeken 17y ago

Sometimes an article comes up somewhere that fits life perfectly for that moment. I'm currently on vacation, taking some time to figure out how I can achieve a normal life (family, real social life, etc) while running a startup. A lot of his checklist I figured out (but rarely followed) when I was working a normal job and trying to balance my fiancee and my startup, and some I figured out when looking back, but things like the family dinner and engaging your spouse just didn't really occur to me there. Hopefully I can take his information and make things work out better in the future.

Tichy 17y ago

"back at work for another 4 or 5 hours until the wee hours of the morning." What if you need sleep?

nopassrecover 17y ago
Don't start a startup.

AlphaEvolve 17y ago

To be perfectly honest, you got to ask my ex-wife about this.. I learned this the hard way unfortunately. Before starting a venture, make sure the foundation of your couple and family are strong. It takes a LOT of commitment, patience, energy just to get yourself started. Imagine that you have to invest as much on the personal level too (if not more). If you don't, your partner/wife will resent you. I know it's hard, but always try to balance things out. Time management is a key. Edit: I am now where I wanted to be professionally, it took me more than a year of hard work, sleepless night juggling between a fulltime job, my ventures, and divorce documents.. I am 'successful', but no one to share it with :(

BerislavLopac 17y ago
The trouble is in knowing the strength of the foundation. Too often we don't want to admit the failure and keep bad things going because of all the wrong reasons -- kids, mortgages, income etc.
- AlphaEvolve 17y ago
  Agree. Look even if you share the same vision of long term growth when you just get married, the reality of the short term responsibilities mobilize all your time and focus. So I learned that there is no such things as tacite mutual agreement in marriage. You've got to remind your partner your long term common objective almost constantly. I thought it's a given, it's not. To take a programming analogy, setting the variables at the beginning of your code is not enough, you've got to use 'global $variablename' within functions (like function workinglate($longtermvision, $values, $love)) to make sure your variables are set and passed on to each function/decision. Btw, the programming analogy seems to apply that on all types of relationships: couple, work, business partnerships. For some mysterious reasons, short terms challenges (bills, rent, mortgage, loans, etc.) keep blinding our long term objectives.
- igrekel 17y ago
  Not sure I would list kids in the wrong reasons tough.
17y ago

dpcan 17y ago

Having kids is a huge motivator to succeed. I started my business when I had one son. I was young and had no fear. Now I have 4, a mortgage, etc, so basically failure is not an option without major consequences. It keeps me hungry for success and doesn't slow me down in the slightest.

briancooley 17y ago

The biggest factor that Blank had in his favor was that he worked outside his home. If you are going the "garage route" like a lot of YC companies, then I think it is much harder - maybe impossible - especially when your children are young. An environment with your kids in it isn't particularly conducive to working, and young kids will want you to be engaged all the time. There's not a noprocrast setting on a two-year-old.

tptacek 17y ago
Which is why you should never go this route. Work in the local library and a coffee shop (for scheduled calls). It's better than your home office and it keeps your hours clear.

dshah 17y ago

Sure, it's possible -- lots of things are possible. However, I'd argue that it's pretty improbable (at least in the early stages).

jagtesh 17y ago

Excellent article. Here's what'll stay with me: "The irony is when I was working insane hours it was to make someone else wealthy. When I moderated my behavior it was when they were my startups." and.. "This life isn’t practice for the next one." I'm probably much younger than most entrepreneurs here (I'm 22), but I could relate to everything Steve had to say. And I'll add to it; it doesn't pay to be burnt out with unhappy people all around you. The negative energy undoubtedly has an impact on oneself. But what takes the cake, is the realization about how you'd like your gravestone to read.

abalashov 17y ago

I think one of the most difficult things about this to manage politically is actually the reconciliation of http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html http://www.paulgraham.com/procrastination.html with the comparatively pedantic, very detail-oriented and exacting household maintenance methodologies of most women, and the expectations they have for you to participate.

maxer 17y ago

how about an article on working full time, coding any spare chance you have, attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.

maxer 17y ago

how about an article on working full time, coding in any spare time you have, attend networking meetings and try to maintain a basic relationship with a gf.

araneae 17y ago

Revised title: "Launching a start-up and having a family life: It's possible if you're a man and can dump all the child-rearing on your wife."

generalk 17y ago
Point of order: a female entrepreneur could just as easily put the child-rearing on her husband.* And there's no need for the negative connotation: is it impossible that one partner can happily take the lion's share of the child-rearing duties so that the other can focus on a business? * applies for all two-gender permutations

bayareaguy 17y ago

Curiously absent from his list is time spent on social networks (including HN).

nopassrecover 17y ago

Er this is just a verbatim repost of http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur/ http://steveblank.com/2009/06/18/epitaph-for-an-entrepreneur.... See http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=663432 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=663432

ganley 17y ago

WhatEVER. Working until 7, then several more hours after the kids go to bed, and half a day on Saturday, doesn't fit any definition of "balance" that interests me. Also, you've carved out a couple of hours a day for your kids, but what about your wife? Those hours after the kids go to bed are our best quality time alone.

rjurney 17y ago

A recent quote from a local VC: I've never known an entrepreneur to bootstrap a business to a big win who's marriage survived doing so. Which is what made me leave Atlanta for Silicon Valley.

tptacek 17y ago
And I know multiple entrepreneurs who did exactly that who have amazing families. You want probably the worst person in the world to take life planning advice from? "A local VC".
- rjurney 17y ago
  Hahaha, I don't know anyone who bootstrapped a startup to serious cash since 2002 in Atlanta, PERIOD - and I've looked really hard, talked to everyone in town - let alone that did it and kept a family.