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It seems to me that men would actually very much like to believe that women don't care about attractiveness, but we do. If it was the case that women don't care

by ch1x0r 17y ago

It seems to me that men would actually very much like to believe that women don't care about attractiveness, but we do. If it was the case that women don't care about attractiveness, why is it that (if research is to be believed) most couples tend to be about the same level of attractiveness? Probably because women actually do very much care about attractiveness. Is it possible to have some personality attribute that would outweigh average or below-average looks? Yes, but not nearly as common as most men it seems would like to believe. I am having a hard time buying the hot women hitting on average bald gay guy story. It is fun to flirt with gay men, definitely, but not because we actually want to get with them, and NYC women know how to spot gay men. There's something missing to this friend of a friend of a sister of a... story.

TomOfTTB 17y ago
First, might I suggest you read a comment before replying to it. I never said women didn't care about attractiveness in fact I said just the opposite. Second, most couples in my experience aren't of equal levels of attractiveness (and I'd like to see the research you quote because I don't know how levels of attractiveness could be gauged effectively enough to conduct such research). In fact, I'd say just the opposite in that there is legitimate research that says women are prone to date/marry men older than they are which would mean other traits rank higher than attractiveness (which of course fades as we age). Beyond that, looking at the extreme, have you ever looked at the husbands of SuperModels? Like Paulina Porizkova: http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg Or Heidi Klum: http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg (I love ya Seal but that stuff on your face is weird)
- dgabriel 17y ago
  http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm EDIT: Looking at the spouses of supermodels or the super rich is probably unhelpful in gauging the behavior of most of the population.
  - TomOfTTB 17y ago
    Thanks for the link but that's just drivel. The scenario is designed to eliminate every other factor by creating a situation in which the interactions can only be superficial (as the article points out). If you do a study in which you deprive people of every other factor but attractiveness than sure it's going to make it look like attractiveness is the most important factor. The question has never been "is attractiveness a factor" but "how big of a factor is it". So a study that artificially boosts the importance of one factor is useless is answering that question Also, why aren't supermodels relevant? I think they're the most relevant in that their physical beauty makes their choices almost limitless so when they choose an unattractive man it shows how little that aspect means to them.
    - dgabriel 17y ago
      It is unlikely that your anecdotal stories are better evidence than years&years of studies. Supermodels aren't relevant because they lie so far outside the norm, and can't be used to predict the behavior of a typical woman (even a very attractive woman).
      - SamAtt 17y ago
        You missed his point. He's saying your study doesn't speak to the question. While his anecdotal evidence might not be accurate but it at least addresses the question at hand.
        dgabriel 17y ago
        It's not my study, and it's not a single study, but years of research. The only question I'm addressing here is whether people are attracted to others of the same level of attractiveness, since he requested evidence. Are women more flexible about their partner's attractiveness based on other factors? Maybe, but without any kind of research, it's all conjecture and confirmation bias.
- geebee 17y ago
  You didn't say that women don't care about attractiveness, but you did say that attractiveness "isn't all that high on a woman's list." So while your position was a bit misrepresented, I don't think you can quite claim to have said "the opposite." This is all a question of degree. I do think that physical attractiveness does play a very big role in both directions. But clearly women do place a somewhat lower premium on it than men do. Just to add to the anecdotal useleness, rich men do attract women, but women swoon over Brad Pitt or that twilight star waaaaaay more than they every will over "the donald".
  - xiaoma 17y ago
    Brad Pitt is both rich and famous. I'm not sure he does much to make your point. At 46 years old, Brad Pitt is also about twice the age of the women who get the most attention from men. In order to make a fairer comparison, imagine a man who's very handsome, but whose career and overall signals of success are on par with the physical attractiveness of "the donald".
    - deleted 17y ago
      [deleted]

by ch1x0r 17y ago

TomOfTTB 17y ago

First, might I suggest you read a comment before replying to it. I never said women didn't care about attractiveness in fact I said just the opposite. Second, most couples in my experience aren't of equal levels of attractiveness (and I'd like to see the research you quote because I don't know how levels of attractiveness could be gauged effectively enough to conduct such research). In fact, I'd say just the opposite in that there is legitimate research that says women are prone to date/marry men older than they are which would mean other traits rank higher than attractiveness (which of course fades as we age). Beyond that, looking at the extreme, have you ever looked at the husbands of SuperModels? Like Paulina Porizkova: http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg Or Heidi Klum: http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg (I love ya Seal but that stuff on your face is weird)

dgabriel 17y ago
http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm EDIT: Looking at the spouses of supermodels or the super rich is probably unhelpful in gauging the behavior of most of the population.
- TomOfTTB 17y ago
  Thanks for the link but that's just drivel. The scenario is designed to eliminate every other factor by creating a situation in which the interactions can only be superficial (as the article points out). If you do a study in which you deprive people of every other factor but attractiveness than sure it's going to make it look like attractiveness is the most important factor. The question has never been "is attractiveness a factor" but "how big of a factor is it". So a study that artificially boosts the importance of one factor is useless is answering that question Also, why aren't supermodels relevant? I think they're the most relevant in that their physical beauty makes their choices almost limitless so when they choose an unattractive man it shows how little that aspect means to them.
  - dgabriel 17y ago
    It is unlikely that your anecdotal stories are better evidence than years&years of studies. Supermodels aren't relevant because they lie so far outside the norm, and can't be used to predict the behavior of a typical woman (even a very attractive woman).
    - SamAtt 17y ago
      You missed his point. He's saying your study doesn't speak to the question. While his anecdotal evidence might not be accurate but it at least addresses the question at hand.
      - dgabriel 17y ago
        It's not my study, and it's not a single study, but years of research. The only question I'm addressing here is whether people are attracted to others of the same level of attractiveness, since he requested evidence. Are women more flexible about their partner's attractiveness based on other factors? Maybe, but without any kind of research, it's all conjecture and confirmation bias.
geebee 17y ago
You didn't say that women don't care about attractiveness, but you did say that attractiveness "isn't all that high on a woman's list." So while your position was a bit misrepresented, I don't think you can quite claim to have said "the opposite." This is all a question of degree. I do think that physical attractiveness does play a very big role in both directions. But clearly women do place a somewhat lower premium on it than men do. Just to add to the anecdotal useleness, rich men do attract women, but women swoon over Brad Pitt or that twilight star waaaaaay more than they every will over "the donald".
- xiaoma 17y ago
  Brad Pitt is both rich and famous. I'm not sure he does much to make your point. At 46 years old, Brad Pitt is also about twice the age of the women who get the most attention from men. In order to make a fairer comparison, imagine a man who's very handsome, but whose career and overall signals of success are on par with the physical attractiveness of "the donald".
  - deleted 17y ago
    [deleted]