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My dad acted in the Theatre and so I had been doing Theatre tech since about 11 years old (and have many, many beautiful women as friends). With that experienc

My dad acted in the Theatre and so I had been doing Theatre tech since about 11 years old (and have many, many beautiful women as friends). With that experience in mind I can verify you sister's friend's claim. When you come right down to it there are two things you have to realize about women. 1. As hard as it is for Men to comprehend the truth is attractiveness isn't that high on a woman's list. It's not that women don't like an attractive man it's just lower on the list. Here's an example I use to explain it to men. I, as someone who dated a lot of theatre women, like dating professional dancers (for reasons I won't be so crass as to spell out here). But I'll certainly be interested in a beautiful, smart, funny woman who isn't a dancer. Attractiveness to women is like being a dancer to me. It's a plus but not a deal breaker. Hence "average looking bald guy" isn't necessarily a deterrent. 2. Attracting women in general boils down to one simple concept: Stand out from the crowd in a good way. No women wants a guy that seems average to her. So when your sister's gay friend shows a lack of interest in a woman every other man drools over it makes that woman wonder why and gives the guy a sense of mystery to him. Hence he stands out in an appealing way which makes women want to take a shot with him and see why he's different.

ch1x0r 17y ago
It seems to me that men would actually very much like to believe that women don't care about attractiveness, but we do. If it was the case that women don't care about attractiveness, why is it that (if research is to be believed) most couples tend to be about the same level of attractiveness? Probably because women actually do very much care about attractiveness. Is it possible to have some personality attribute that would outweigh average or below-average looks? Yes, but not nearly as common as most men it seems would like to believe. I am having a hard time buying the hot women hitting on average bald gay guy story. It is fun to flirt with gay men, definitely, but not because we actually want to get with them, and NYC women know how to spot gay men. There's something missing to this friend of a friend of a sister of a... story.
- TomOfTTB 17y ago
  First, might I suggest you read a comment before replying to it. I never said women didn't care about attractiveness in fact I said just the opposite. Second, most couples in my experience aren't of equal levels of attractiveness (and I'd like to see the research you quote because I don't know how levels of attractiveness could be gauged effectively enough to conduct such research). In fact, I'd say just the opposite in that there is legitimate research that says women are prone to date/marry men older than they are which would mean other traits rank higher than attractiveness (which of course fades as we age). Beyond that, looking at the extreme, have you ever looked at the husbands of SuperModels? Like Paulina Porizkova: http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg Or Heidi Klum: http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg (I love ya Seal but that stuff on your face is weird)
  - dgabriel 17y ago
    http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm EDIT: Looking at the spouses of supermodels or the super rich is probably unhelpful in gauging the behavior of most of the population.
    - TomOfTTB 17y ago
      Thanks for the link but that's just drivel. The scenario is designed to eliminate every other factor by creating a situation in which the interactions can only be superficial (as the article points out). If you do a study in which you deprive people of every other factor but attractiveness than sure it's going to make it look like attractiveness is the most important factor. The question has never been "is attractiveness a factor" but "how big of a factor is it". So a study that artificially boosts the importance of one factor is useless is answering that question Also, why aren't supermodels relevant? I think they're the most relevant in that their physical beauty makes their choices almost limitless so when they choose an unattractive man it shows how little that aspect means to them.
      - 17y ago
thesecret 17y ago
Women are interested in men who give them the cold shoulder because it's a challenge. In her head she is thinking "He must be surrounded by so many pretty women so he is immune" or "Whats wrong with me?" The 'challenge' theory also applies to guys who are married or who have girlfriends --- it is a challenge

ch1x0r 17y ago

It seems to me that men would actually very much like to believe that women don't care about attractiveness, but we do. If it was the case that women don't care about attractiveness, why is it that (if research is to be believed) most couples tend to be about the same level of attractiveness? Probably because women actually do very much care about attractiveness. Is it possible to have some personality attribute that would outweigh average or below-average looks? Yes, but not nearly as common as most men it seems would like to believe. I am having a hard time buying the hot women hitting on average bald gay guy story. It is fun to flirt with gay men, definitely, but not because we actually want to get with them, and NYC women know how to spot gay men. There's something missing to this friend of a friend of a sister of a... story.

TomOfTTB 17y ago
First, might I suggest you read a comment before replying to it. I never said women didn't care about attractiveness in fact I said just the opposite. Second, most couples in my experience aren't of equal levels of attractiveness (and I'd like to see the research you quote because I don't know how levels of attractiveness could be gauged effectively enough to conduct such research). In fact, I'd say just the opposite in that there is legitimate research that says women are prone to date/marry men older than they are which would mean other traits rank higher than attractiveness (which of course fades as we age). Beyond that, looking at the extreme, have you ever looked at the husbands of SuperModels? Like Paulina Porizkova: http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9066/paulinaqv6.jpg Or Heidi Klum: http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg http://www.clevelandleader.com/files/heidisealbaby.jpg (I love ya Seal but that stuff on your face is weird)
- dgabriel 17y ago
  http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm http://www.economicexpert.com/a/Matching:hypothesis.htm EDIT: Looking at the spouses of supermodels or the super rich is probably unhelpful in gauging the behavior of most of the population.
  - TomOfTTB 17y ago
    Thanks for the link but that's just drivel. The scenario is designed to eliminate every other factor by creating a situation in which the interactions can only be superficial (as the article points out). If you do a study in which you deprive people of every other factor but attractiveness than sure it's going to make it look like attractiveness is the most important factor. The question has never been "is attractiveness a factor" but "how big of a factor is it". So a study that artificially boosts the importance of one factor is useless is answering that question Also, why aren't supermodels relevant? I think they're the most relevant in that their physical beauty makes their choices almost limitless so when they choose an unattractive man it shows how little that aspect means to them.
    - 17y ago

thesecret 17y ago

Women are interested in men who give them the cold shoulder because it's a challenge. In her head she is thinking "He must be surrounded by so many pretty women so he is immune" or "Whats wrong with me?" The 'challenge' theory also applies to guys who are married or who have girlfriends --- it is a challenge