11 ms·

I think you're pretty spot on with your thoughts, splintercell. Personally, I love and believe speed dating is the best option for most people. Even if you don

by ngm1985 12y ago

I think you're pretty spot on with your thoughts, splintercell. Personally, I love and believe speed dating is the best option for most people. Even if you don't find someone you're attracted to, you can still have great conversations. Unfortunately, this is out of the comfort zone for most people (only if they knew!). I'm hoping this is the next best option within online dating. People have checklists and I think it's only fair we indulge them. We give people options/criteria/fields for searching, so it seems plausible to apply the same to peoples' inboxes. If people wind up being lonely or finding the wrong person due to their high standards, hopefully they'll adapt their standards or find a better outlet to pursue dating/love.

benjamincburns 12y ago
Respectfully, I think you're wrong on your conclusion. There's a lack of alignment between a person's explicitly declared preferences and the things which actually make them happy. This is so ridiculously true when it comes to dating on and offline. I think this is the real, society advancing problem on which dating centric startups should focus. I'm all for indulging people (and making a buck), but sites like this one generally are useless, depressing, and alienating to a good number of their users. Edit: There's also a really harmful cycle of addiction which a lot of people get into on these sites. Quite often the proprietors design their dating sites to promote such cycles, and it's more than a little depressing. To see what I'm talking about, read Ian Bogost's Cow Clicker post [1], and then imagine that the daunting chore of participating in the "social game" is directly tied to your self worth. At the very least please don't do that to your users. 1: http://bogost.com/writing/blog/cow_clicker_1/ http://bogost.com/writing/blog/cow_clicker_1/
- splintercell 12y ago
  > There's a lack of alignment between a person's explicitly declared preferences and the things which actually make them happy. This is so ridiculously true when it comes to dating on and offline. < I completely agree with you. That was my original point. Nick's answer just didn't make any sense to me. How can you agree that people don't know what they want, yet say that that this is why he created this app, when the explicit stated intention is "dating sites for people who know what they want". This is more like a "dating site for people who think they know what they want".

by ngm1985 12y ago

benjamincburns 12y ago

Respectfully, I think you're wrong on your conclusion. There's a lack of alignment between a person's explicitly declared preferences and the things which actually make them happy. This is so ridiculously true when it comes to dating on and offline. I think this is the real, society advancing problem on which dating centric startups should focus. I'm all for indulging people (and making a buck), but sites like this one generally are useless, depressing, and alienating to a good number of their users. Edit: There's also a really harmful cycle of addiction which a lot of people get into on these sites. Quite often the proprietors design their dating sites to promote such cycles, and it's more than a little depressing. To see what I'm talking about, read Ian Bogost's Cow Clicker post [1], and then imagine that the daunting chore of participating in the "social game" is directly tied to your self worth. At the very least please don't do that to your users. 1: http://bogost.com/writing/blog/cow_clicker_1/ http://bogost.com/writing/blog/cow_clicker_1/

splintercell 12y ago
> There's a lack of alignment between a person's explicitly declared preferences and the things which actually make them happy. This is so ridiculously true when it comes to dating on and offline. < I completely agree with you. That was my original point. Nick's answer just didn't make any sense to me. How can you agree that people don't know what they want, yet say that that this is why he created this app, when the explicit stated intention is "dating sites for people who know what they want". This is more like a "dating site for people who think they know what they want".