I try to look at this logically. It's known that in any communication you should have and remember an objective—what you want to achieve as the result. Someti

I try to look at this logically. It's known that in any communication you should have and remember an objective—what you want to achieve as the result. Sometimes this objective is immediate, which is the easiest case. Other times it's more strategic, with long-term benefits—this one can be harder to keep in mind. At minimum an objective can be as basic as “keeping good relationship with”. This objective almost never involves pissing off another person. Having good relationships, apart from everything else, helps you practically. It's irrational to aim to piss off or let down another person. When that happens it seems to be due to lost objective and uncontrolled thought process. (I'm talking about personal relationships—things could be different, say, in business situations.) Keeping in mind your objective helps staying polite, positive and kind, but requires certain mental resources. This could be easy for some people, while from others more resources is required due to psychological issues (inner fears, lack of self-confidence). An especially difficult case, I find, is when another person initiates a communication. Then I don't have an immediate objective in mind ready. I need to spend some time recalling a long-term one. During that time I can be accidentally rude and unkind (I guess I have my issues…), even to people close to me. Sometimes I recall my objective only after the communication is complete, to my regret. I guess one part of the solution involves training myself to defer any communication until I can recall my objective.