"I think the first thing I would do is to remove the lab computers' default mouse input and replace them with the 80s-era steel-ball mice until students realize

"I think the first thing I would do is to remove the lab computers' default mouse input and replace them with the 80s-era steel-ball mice until students realized that using a mouse should be the edge case." I'd fire you immediately if you did that. The mouse is not an edge case.