I lived in the bay area for a few years just after college. I moved there alone without knowing any friends in the area. I'm white, american, fluent, and witt

I lived in the bay area for a few years just after college. I moved there alone without knowing any friends in the area. I'm white, american, fluent, and witty enough that I can regularly make my friends laugh. But even despite those advantages, I felt a strong sense of recognition reading this post - I felt exactly the same way about my ability to connect with people, and about the weekends. I think there's a structural problem with the bay area in that sense. Making friends at work is tough because everyone lives at least 20 minutes away, probably much further. The geography means everyone is really spread out. Most of the peninsula doesn't have natural hang-out areas. And the general professional emphasis in the bay area means that everyone is friendly enough to give you 1-2 minutes, but then they're on to the next thing. I honestly don't have a lot of suggestions to give, other than to say that the problem might not be YOU. You might have to move somewhere where there is a better natural support network, and there really are such places. I moved northwest and ended up feeling like everyone was an order of magnitude friendlier and more open. Barring that, I'd focus on doing things like joining a church where there is a cultural fit - even if you aren't religious - or trying your hardest to find local meetups where the emphasis is more on a common interest than on meeting other people - in that environment, you can rely on the common interest to talk to people, and slowly turn it into a personal relationship over time. Overall I just wanted to say I really feel for you - that doesn't sound fun and it's easy to tell from your writing that you're a good person and would have a lot to offer in terms of friendship (or relationship).