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Sorry if this seems like a nitpick-- but giving way too advanced social advice to people is one of my pet peeves. Talking to girls in the grocery store or stra

Sorry if this seems like a nitpick-- but giving way too advanced social advice to people is one of my pet peeves. Talking to girls in the grocery store or strangers in the subway is horrible advice here. Doubly so because you gave it in the context of actually meeting people, not just practicing sociability. Remember who you're writing to. For someone with bad English, low confidence, and little social life that's not a good way to make friends. It's a good recipe for getting a lot of rejection, very fast. This is, uh, probably not the optimal strategy for the OP. Seriously, this isn't some sales guy in a new city. He's a lonely person with "growing ... self-hatred towards [him]self". He should be making friends in the most boring, effective, straightforward way possible. Your next advice is very solid though. Hanging out with coworkers and going to meetups is exactly what he should be doing.

dublinben 12y ago
You are right to caution against this advice, but I don't think that was actually written as advice that was meant to be followed. Those struck me as illustrative examples of unconventional places to initiate a conversation. Nobody is telling OP to actually do those specific things, just to consider them.
- seagreen 12y ago
  Heh, that makes sense:) I guess when I read "So I'd ask you to ask yourself: is your problem really about meeting people, or is it about staying engaged with people?" ... it seems really obvious that the problem in OP's case is the former. Since our parent comment used OP to springboard into his own topic, I hope it's considered fair that I used the parent to springboard back into OP's case:)
  - morganw 12y ago
    OP has both problems and while the former seems like the big one, it's really just the first one. Introverts don't need a lot of friends, just a few really good ones. Making those strong connections by staying engaged really is important.

dublinben 12y ago

You are right to caution against this advice, but I don't think that was actually written as advice that was meant to be followed. Those struck me as illustrative examples of unconventional places to initiate a conversation. Nobody is telling OP to actually do those specific things, just to consider them.

seagreen 12y ago
Heh, that makes sense:) I guess when I read "So I'd ask you to ask yourself: is your problem really about meeting people, or is it about staying engaged with people?" ... it seems really obvious that the problem in OP's case is the former. Since our parent comment used OP to springboard into his own topic, I hope it's considered fair that I used the parent to springboard back into OP's case:)
- morganw 12y ago
  OP has both problems and while the former seems like the big one, it's really just the first one. Introverts don't need a lot of friends, just a few really good ones. Making those strong connections by staying engaged really is important.