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A lil background. I worked my ass off, for a cs degree thinking once the money will rake in, I'll get a girlfriend, friends and all the life style I wanted. O

A lil background. I worked my ass off, for a cs degree thinking once the money will rake in, I'll get a girlfriend, friends and all the life style I wanted. Once I got a job, I found myself going right after work studying coursera class ML, to find a better paying job to support my parent. Eventually I ended up depress... I started to workout again and eventually reconnect with my college friends. Unfortunately it was really hard but got some decent friends out of it. I was lucky because I was working near my university so my old friends are still around. I was horrible at keeping in touch. Anyway here's the deal, I didn't really acquire the skill to make friend with strangers during this time. I moved to a new city and realized I don't have the luxury of being nearby old friends like my old job living nearby my university. I had no existing connection I can call up and work the existing connection for new friends. I did eventually learn how to make friends and it was through PUA, pick up artist. Yeah it's fucking weird. But let me try to explain what happened. Once I got some friends going, a few nothing major, this is back at my university I got lonely and wanted a girlfriend. Most of my friends are usually busy except for one, I found out he was doing this pick up artist thing. The whole thing is weird there are some good and bad to it, I like to think I chosen the good thing out of this whole underground society. But I eventually learned how to approach random strangers and make a comment or two. The seduction/pua community call this process opening. I spent two years on and off opening girls on the street of hollywood. Eventually I moved to a new city and... It was great, being able to approach women but the problem eventually I realized was I couldn't hold a conversation. I got rid of my "approach anxiety" and can go up to stranger and just open but I can't hold a conversation worth at damn. The problem was I was doing this at night time and practicing night time, at least to me, didn't enable me to practice the other seduction techniques of conversation. I spent roughly 3 months so far this year during the day holding a conversation. I got three new friends out of it and can hold decent conversation with strangers now (male and female). How the hell do you make friends using PUA? By holding a conversation. I talked to this girl at starbuck, got her number, and eventually she invited me to do activity with her. She have become a close friend and I've done tons of activities with her now and planning a few more. Within the seduction/pua community I've made friends. Well anyway take it as you will. edit: I'm Asian short ESL btw. The PUA taught lots of things including destroying any insecurities I had. edit2: I also had to learn how to keep in touch too. It's fucking stupid but yeah. Every friday I'll be on aim and message people with it's FRIIIIIIDAY and how's your weekend looking? I know it sounds stupid but omg, I was retarded on keeping in touch.

digitalzombie 12y ago
Inception anyway I read a lil more in your doc and just wanted to share my "stack". Or how I approach people. Generally it's a comment on what they have. But I usually go up to a girl and: Me: "You have really nice hair." Girl: Thanks! Me: How's your day going? So eventually opening isn't really bad it's the middle part. I started out with interview question. How's your day? What are you up to? Yeah I know very boring but doing this enough time you'll eventually figure out how to make it not boring. The thing is you're trying to find subjects that they want to talk about or that you guys "connect". One approach is cold read. Which is you're not from around here? Or you're... Chinese. Guessing their ethnicity. It's fun. With this in mind you can go into subject of here they're from and what's good to eat there. Learning how to thread a conversation is important. Learning how give an interesting answer is equally important btw. If they ask you a question most of the time they want you to ask them the same question. An example would be how's life? If they ask you that and after you answer it you should ask them that too! Cause you have to contribute to the conversation. Also if they ask you interview questions. You just learn how to answer in interesting way. What do you do? Have you watched office space? Where the guy go stuck working in a cubicle and got 7 bosses that he have to report and work under? Eventually he got sick of it? "Yeah!" Well, I'm the opposite, I actually work in a cubicle and rather enjoy it. Thankfully I dont' have 7 bosses. edit: You practice all these different aspect/tricks of conversation separately. Figure out where in your conversation skill is lacking and practice. Keep on practicing until it become natural. It'll seem contrive at first but eventually it gets easier. edit2: If I ever in SF we should hang out and grab a beer. I'm always down to have new friends anyway. Unfortunately for the forseeable future I'll be in LA.
JohnBooty 12y ago
> I did eventually learn how to make friends and it > was through PUA, pick up artist. Yeah it's > fucking weird. The PUA thing is interesting to me. People criticize it because it can be manipulative. But the success of PUA tells me that people seem to be really interested in some kind of step-by-step "system" for dealing with people. I think that's why the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" is still popular after many years. It gives you concrete steps to take. Edit/clarification: I don't particularly think the PUA thing is positive - I wish there was a positive, modern version of PUA that omitted the manipulative aspects. Maybe there is and I don't know it. (There probably is...)

digitalzombie 12y ago

Inception anyway I read a lil more in your doc and just wanted to share my "stack". Or how I approach people. Generally it's a comment on what they have. But I usually go up to a girl and: Me: "You have really nice hair." Girl: Thanks! Me: How's your day going? So eventually opening isn't really bad it's the middle part. I started out with interview question. How's your day? What are you up to? Yeah I know very boring but doing this enough time you'll eventually figure out how to make it not boring. The thing is you're trying to find subjects that they want to talk about or that you guys "connect". One approach is cold read. Which is you're not from around here? Or you're... Chinese. Guessing their ethnicity. It's fun. With this in mind you can go into subject of here they're from and what's good to eat there. Learning how to thread a conversation is important. Learning how give an interesting answer is equally important btw. If they ask you a question most of the time they want you to ask them the same question. An example would be how's life? If they ask you that and after you answer it you should ask them that too! Cause you have to contribute to the conversation. Also if they ask you interview questions. You just learn how to answer in interesting way. What do you do? Have you watched office space? Where the guy go stuck working in a cubicle and got 7 bosses that he have to report and work under? Eventually he got sick of it? "Yeah!" Well, I'm the opposite, I actually work in a cubicle and rather enjoy it. Thankfully I dont' have 7 bosses. edit: You practice all these different aspect/tricks of conversation separately. Figure out where in your conversation skill is lacking and practice. Keep on practicing until it become natural. It'll seem contrive at first but eventually it gets easier. edit2: If I ever in SF we should hang out and grab a beer. I'm always down to have new friends anyway. Unfortunately for the forseeable future I'll be in LA.

JohnBooty 12y ago

> I did eventually learn how to make friends and it > was through PUA, pick up artist. Yeah it's > fucking weird. The PUA thing is interesting to me. People criticize it because it can be manipulative. But the success of PUA tells me that people seem to be really interested in some kind of step-by-step "system" for dealing with people. I think that's why the book "How To Win Friends and Influence People" is still popular after many years. It gives you concrete steps to take. Edit/clarification: I don't particularly think the PUA thing is positive - I wish there was a positive, modern version of PUA that omitted the manipulative aspects. Maybe there is and I don't know it. (There probably is...)