You will have to do things that scare you and goes against your destructive instincts. This is life, this is growing. It's an excuse that it commes easier for s

You will have to do things that scare you and goes against your destructive instincts. This is life, this is growing. It's an excuse that it commes easier for some, a truer and more productive observation is that it's mainly practice and you've neglected practicing. Don't victimize yourself or find excuses (what girl would date someone without a car..). Some others suggested arenas for you to get started so wont repeat that. Some good reads: The Diceman (habit breaking), you can also google rejection therapy (removing fear of "losing"). Good luck, stay brave.