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This is very well discussed in Erich Fromm's book "The art of loving". He proposed that in today's society we put too much value on the object of love, and too

This is very well discussed in Erich Fromm's book "The art of loving". He proposed that in today's society we put too much value on the object of love, and too little in learning how to love. Thus we look intensely for the best possible partner and we may have second thoughts even once we reach a decision, instead of learning how to love and enjoy life.

marincounty 12y ago
Eric Fromm also said true love is letting that person you love sleep with other people if it makes them happy. I have been with one person who I felt I loved according to Fromm, but I was not attracted to her--so I guess I never loved? By the way, I think Fromm is right, but I'm just to selfish, and he said that before AIDS. I wonder if he would be so cavileer today?
- mtdewcmu 12y ago
  Intellectuals have been known to give terrible relationship advice. They have their theory and they apply it. You can't hold them responsible when it blows up for you. I don't have advice on what to do, but mix a good dose of common sense and your experience of human nature in with Eric Fromm. Edit: It sounds to me like you are rationalizing and intellectualizing.
- meric 12y ago
  Parents who truly loved their children would let their children pick others as parent figures if it's what would make them happy. I think there's a difference between that love and romantic love.
- JamonSilva 12y ago
  If that's what you believe, wouldn't you also say that true love is not sleeping with other people if it makes your love unhappy? "You love me, so you allow me others; but I love you, so I will not take them."