3 ms·
> It may be overdiagnosed in some children, but it can also be underdiagnosed. And the impact of not knowing what the hell is wrong with you is more devastating
by JabavuAdams 12y ago
> It may be overdiagnosed in some children, but it can also be underdiagnosed. And the impact of not knowing what the hell is wrong with you is more devastating than anything I can think of.
This.
I skipped three grades in elementary school and was used to thinking of myself as a prodigy, but when it came time to study things that weren't immediately interesting in University -- I kept feeling like I was fighting some "other". Hmm. I like compilers, and I've got an exam tomorrow, and I know I should study, but let's just play one more round of Unreal Tournament (and I know I'm BSing myself that it's just one more round, but F-it).
When I first started ADHD meds (Dexedrine + Wellbutrin) it was like that experience where you suddenly realize that the room has gone quiet, but you don't recall precisely when. Normally, I'd have a ghostly music video running in my head just below the level of consciousness. Thoughts darting, snippets of music, visuals. All that was just gone and I was just there. Kind of like a flow state when playing sports. It was very interesting.
I eventually developed side effects to the meds, and stopped taking them. In the decade since, I've been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I'm treating that with a CPAP machine, and the results have been incredible. I can still go down research rabbit-holes, but generally have much more control over my executive functions, and I don't fall asleep at my desk every afternoon. Note that at the time of the ADHD diagnosis, I had borderline sleep apnea, not severe.
So, now I don't really consider myself to have ADHD. Aside from any possibly incorrect diagnosis due to sleep apnea, I feel that it's important to go beyond labels.
Identifying with a label is the first stage. Ok, now you've got an explanation, and a body of knowledge to help. But, I feel the eventual goal should be to move beyond that label. This is where the ADHD as broken leg analogy breaks down. We can't (AFAIK) heal a broken leg only with our minds, but I think we can develop enough skills and life experience to turn "you've got ADHD" into "you're creative and slightly impulsive".
EDIT> One strange attentional trait that I've still got is that I hear everything. Like, I thought I had super-human hearing for a while. It's not, but it makes open-concept offices extremely annoying. Co-workers are constantly surprised that I can hear their conversations from 40 feet away.
- neurostract 12y ago> Normally, I'd have a ghostly music video running in my head just below the level of consciousness. Thoughts darting, snippets of music, visuals. All that was just gone and I was just there. Kind of like a flow state when playing sports. It was very interesting. I know what you mean. I've used the analogy of having a plethora televisions on in my brain, all tuned to different cacophonous channels with the volume to 11 and no clicker. The medication gives me a clicker, so I can turn all the ones I don't want to pay attention to off. It doesn't get rid of my distractions: it gives me agency over them. >This is where the ADHD as broken leg analogy breaks down. I don't like that analogy one bit -- it implies that something is broken in me, and once it's fixed I'll be okay after maybe some physical therapy. Something isn't /broken/, my executive functions are /impaired/. Fixing that negative brings a host of positives with it: my brain makes creative connections all the time; my problem solving abilities are fantastic (even more so now that I have agency over those abilities instead of just letting them 'percolate' while I distract myself); yes, I'm a little impulsive -- but that just keeps things interesting ;) Managed ADHD is a boon. Unmanaged, untreated, undiagnosed ADHD is crippling.
- neurostract 12y agoCame back to add: I understand what you mean about hearing everything! It's odd, because often I have to ask people to repeat themselves, but it's not because I have a hard time hearing. My 5th grade teacher even had me tested for hearing difficulties. The truth is I hear too well (even after years of death metal concerts attended sans ear protection) ... and I can't necessarily tune other stuff out (or my own thoughts) well enough to actually pay attention to what someone has said. I think it's telling that I can still hear the refresh rate on most CRTs at nearly 30 :)