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I am a 34-year old male virgin. There's nothing bad about this. You guys make way too big a deal about it. I always here people talk about sex like they'll d

I am a 34-year old male virgin. There's nothing bad about this. You guys make way too big a deal about it. I always here people talk about sex like they'll die without it, but it's just not that important.

haberdash 12y ago
28 here. I find it interesting that you're not interested in it at all. There's that saying: "a man can go his whole life without an orgasm, but if he goes a month without a bowel movement he'll die." It's true that it's not required to live. I feel a bit empty without a significant other, though.
- 34yearold 12y ago
  It's not that I'm not interested. I have a sex drive, of course. I have considered that it might be in 'idle' rather than 'overdrive' as some appear to be. I don't really obsess over it, nor am I searching about desperately. I can't say that I feel empty. Other people don't define me, I am complete in and of myself. I have had girlfriends, but things never really went anywhere.
  - haberdash 12y ago
    Different problems, same result. If you're happy with yourself, you're better off than about everyone.
parennoob 12y ago
> I am a 34-year old male virgin. There's nothing bad about this. So far so good. That's perfectly fine; I'm cool with that -- and a lot of HN readership probably is too. I doubt there's a ton of intolerant people here who go, "WHAT? A 34 year old male virgin? No way, get out!" > You guys make way too big a deal about it. I always here people talk about sex like they'll die without it, but it's just not that important. I don't see the point in telling people this. Maybe they are different, have different levels of hormones than you do, and have different emotions. As long as they aren't forcing you to have sex, I don't see that you should be telling them it's no big deal. Maybe it is a big deal to them. I don't see much difference between saying this and telling a gay person, "Gah, attraction to other men is just not that important. Just don't think of guys, and you should get over it."
- 34yearold 12y ago
  What gets me is that I've heard of sex described inaccurately as a "need" on a great many occasions. You die without needs. I'm living proof that you don't die without sex. You might be right about the hormones, but I honestly think that people care more about what others think on this subject.
- xor-ed-wolf 12y ago
  You are forgetting or don't see that society at large does exactly the thing. Every time coworkers/peers/acquaintances learn that someone is a virgin at mid-life he or she goes through proactive bashing to stop that and have a partner or become a parent. I saw this on too many occasions for it to be random and irrelevant rant. People are actually pressured into having sex.
- mcv 12y ago
  > I doubt there's a ton of intolerant people here who go, "WHAT? A 34 year old male virgin? No way, get out!" Maybe not here, but it in society in general, that is unfortunately an extremely common attitude. You're supposed to have as much sex as you can, and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. It's a stupid and harmful attitude, but it doesn't seem to be going away. I mean, sex is nice, but there are plenty of things better than sex. The context of the sex matters a lot too, yet society tells us that any sex is better than no sex.
dnautics 12y ago
well, society sells sex as an "important part of your balanced healthy life". Ergo, if you're not getting it, there must be something wrong with you.
- ams6110 12y ago
  Conversely they tell us to spay and neuter our pets because they will be healthier without sex.
- xor-ed-wolf 12y ago
  Yeah, and it also sells consumerism, promiscuity, ignorance and addictions. :)

haberdash 12y ago

28 here. I find it interesting that you're not interested in it at all. There's that saying: "a man can go his whole life without an orgasm, but if he goes a month without a bowel movement he'll die." It's true that it's not required to live. I feel a bit empty without a significant other, though.

34yearold 12y ago
It's not that I'm not interested. I have a sex drive, of course. I have considered that it might be in 'idle' rather than 'overdrive' as some appear to be. I don't really obsess over it, nor am I searching about desperately. I can't say that I feel empty. Other people don't define me, I am complete in and of myself. I have had girlfriends, but things never really went anywhere.
- haberdash 12y ago
  Different problems, same result. If you're happy with yourself, you're better off than about everyone.

parennoob 12y ago

> I am a 34-year old male virgin. There's nothing bad about this. So far so good. That's perfectly fine; I'm cool with that -- and a lot of HN readership probably is too. I doubt there's a ton of intolerant people here who go, "WHAT? A 34 year old male virgin? No way, get out!" > You guys make way too big a deal about it. I always here people talk about sex like they'll die without it, but it's just not that important. I don't see the point in telling people this. Maybe they are different, have different levels of hormones than you do, and have different emotions. As long as they aren't forcing you to have sex, I don't see that you should be telling them it's no big deal. Maybe it is a big deal to them. I don't see much difference between saying this and telling a gay person, "Gah, attraction to other men is just not that important. Just don't think of guys, and you should get over it."

34yearold 12y ago
What gets me is that I've heard of sex described inaccurately as a "need" on a great many occasions. You die without needs. I'm living proof that you don't die without sex. You might be right about the hormones, but I honestly think that people care more about what others think on this subject.
xor-ed-wolf 12y ago
You are forgetting or don't see that society at large does exactly the thing. Every time coworkers/peers/acquaintances learn that someone is a virgin at mid-life he or she goes through proactive bashing to stop that and have a partner or become a parent. I saw this on too many occasions for it to be random and irrelevant rant. People are actually pressured into having sex.
mcv 12y ago
> I doubt there's a ton of intolerant people here who go, "WHAT? A 34 year old male virgin? No way, get out!" Maybe not here, but it in society in general, that is unfortunately an extremely common attitude. You're supposed to have as much sex as you can, and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. It's a stupid and harmful attitude, but it doesn't seem to be going away. I mean, sex is nice, but there are plenty of things better than sex. The context of the sex matters a lot too, yet society tells us that any sex is better than no sex.

dnautics 12y ago

well, society sells sex as an "important part of your balanced healthy life". Ergo, if you're not getting it, there must be something wrong with you.

ams6110 12y ago
Conversely they tell us to spay and neuter our pets because they will be healthier without sex.
xor-ed-wolf 12y ago
Yeah, and it also sells consumerism, promiscuity, ignorance and addictions. :)