I was diagnosed with PTSD after having spent my childhood being raised by a child molester. Since the molester was my dad I could never escape him, could never

I was diagnosed with PTSD after having spent my childhood being raised by a child molester. Since the molester was my dad I could never escape him, could never go to my parent for help. He kept it up for the first 12 years of my life (he told me he started when I was 2 months old). He also did this to my sister and forced us to engage in incestuous behavior to boot. The end result was that we were utterly unprepared for normal, caring, relationships. I, a shy, weak, easily intimidated young man, reacted very poorly and became the opposite of my father. Unfortunately he is a hard charging, successful go-getter that is considered "Mr. Capable" so I became a slacking, stress avoiding "Mr. Loser". My sister, on the other hand, adopted all of his good traits, earning 2 PhDs from top schools and forging a career as a very highly paid scientist living a luxurious life in LA (and I was the "smart" one, lol). Thing is, we were both damaged quite badly, both attempted suicide, both suffering from debilitating depression, PTSD symptoms, etc. My salvation, such as it is, came in the form of a loving wife who has nurtured me when needed and helped me grow into a more normal mode of living (this led to me teaching myself to program and finally, at age 45, earning a pretty decent living doing it). She cushioned the things that trigger me, guided me in making correct choices and basically taught me, over the almost 20 years we have been married, to be "normal" and I truly believe she saved my life. Her kindness and understanding has allowed my PTSD symptoms to fade over the years and minimized them when they do appear. In three words, love saved me. p.s. if you are a parent and have the sorts of feelings my father did towards us I beg of you to seek help. Please understand that acting on those desires will result in the harming and potential destruction of your children and the utter obliteration of your parent/child relationship. Imagine yourself being confronted by your broken and damaged adult children... do you really want to endure that? Seek help... if you haven't acted on it, you can get it with no consequences. If you have... stop now. On behalf of your children I beg you.