The typical way of ensuring consistency in cases where the systems are unable to participate in a transaction would be to use a durable queue between the system

The typical way of ensuring consistency in cases where the systems are unable to participate in a transaction would be to use a durable queue between the systems that can participate. So, in your Edit example, you would delete the user from the DB and add it the user to a queue in the same database to be deleted. Another process would then pull from that queue and attempt to delete from the auth system and only acknowledges the message once it is successful. You will still temporarily be in an inconsistent state but ultimately the operation will complete. This design only works for idempotent work.