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I haven't had the acute anxiety problems (yet), but I do feel many of the same stresses. I'd like to thank the author for sharing, that is a very brave thing to
by ColinDabritz 12y ago
I haven't had the acute anxiety problems (yet), but I do feel many of the same stresses. I'd like to thank the author for sharing, that is a very brave thing to do.
As developers we see deeper into problems, we have a 'ground truth' of the state of the code base that no one else can see, and often gets ignored, because they can't see.
When requirements aren't detailed enough, people get frustrated with us because we're asking "stupid questions" about details that they don't believe matter, but that they would be upset about if we don't get them right.
When the code base is a mess, it's not on the restaurant floor, where everything seems fine, it's back in the kitchen behind closed doors where they never go. But it's hard to work in a messy kitchen, but everyone needs their food right now! Just get out one more appetizer, one more entree, as fast as possible, don't "waste time" cleaning up.
Some problems come from unknowns that we can't get help dealing with because other can't see them. Some come from know problems, that we can't get permission to address, because other can't see them. We're not hallucinating, but from an outside perspective we might as well be. It can be tough when others smile and nod, but you can tell by their actions that they don't really believe you. It feels like they don't trust you. And that can hurt.
All we can do is ask for that trust and try to communicate about those hallucinations as best as we can.
- mylons 12y agoJust about a year ago, I left a startup after experiencing everything in the article more or less and took it very hard because I was the only actual engineer there. I never had a panic attack until about 2 weeks before moving for a new job. It was the most horrific experience of my life. I say this as a warning. I thought I was immune to it, or just was coping well enough that I had it under control.
- angersock 12y agoIt's okay, friend. These things pass, and life goes on and gets better. Hang in there!
- evanlivingston 12y agoThis isn't true for all people.
- Ixiaus 12y agoIt may not be but he was being empathetic.
- Centigonal 12y ago"Either things will get better, they will get worse, or they will remain the same" doesn't quite have the same ring to it.
- danielweber 12y ago"I'll get through it by being really smart and working really hard!" This works for a lot of people, right up until it doesn't.
- hamidr 12y agoyep. stress might cause you forgetfulness. then you might consider yourself a non-smart guy sometimes; lots of chain reactions.
- boie0025 12y agoI got out of a similar situation about 2 months ago. It was awful. On top of all the aforementioned stressors, I actually was severely stressed out about bailing out on the company. We're all in this together. I wish more people would acknowledge that.
- sanderjd 12y agoYour kitchen analogy is great! I hadn't heard it before - thanks for sharing.
- ColinDabritz 12y agoThanks! It actually started when I found technical debt to be a buzzwordy term without the appropriate meaning. What I came up with was "Dirty dishes". All the little things you can put off, but need to deal with on a regular basis. You need to get back to 'clean'. The analogy has a lot of depth and good connections, but the important part is the visual, visceral reaction most people have to the image of a kitchen full of dirty dishes.
- JoeAltmaier 12y agoProjects are well-served by scheduling time for 'technical debt', which is whatever the developers say it is. Its time to revisit code and repair/replace weak links.
- ColinDabritz 12y agoI recall one project where we were allocated "refactoring" time, which turned almost immediately into performance profiling, you know, something you could see. It's like management gets itchy when they can't see change for more than 48 hours.
- gaustin 12y agoI worked at a place where 50% of our time was supposed to be refactoring/boy scouting/cleanup work. The codebase was so bad and delivery so painful that management endorsed it. But the pressure to deliver never let up and so that policy is now a running joke.
- h1karu 12y agoWhat makes it worse is when other developers whisper in their ear that you are in-fact hallucinating. This is often done out of jealousy, spite, or plain old ignorance. The bottom line though is that if your primary stakeholders are listening attentively to the developers concerns about the underlying integrity of the product then you've got much larger problems than just a messy codebase and it might be time to abandon ship.