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Having a job you hate is not beneficial to you or your family in the long run, other than keeping food on the table. You don't want to look around the day your

by japhyr 12y ago

Having a job you hate is not beneficial to you or your family in the long run, other than keeping food on the table. You don't want to look around the day your kids leave the house and feel like you have lost yourself completely, and no one in your family wants to see that either. Have you started to look for other work? It's not easy to throw a job search on top of everything else on your plate, but if it gives you some of your own life back, it could be well worthwhile. I have a 3-year-old son, and it's been an interesting ride. This year was supposed to be more relaxing because we got into a better living situation, but then my wife was getting bored staying at home every day. So she got a really interesting job, but the job ended up being way more involved than either of us expected. So our schedules are pretty hectic, but it's worth it to see her mentally stimulated and avoiding the professional detachment that can come from stay-at-home-parenting. I have some really interesting personal projects going, which have been affected by family stuff. I have responded by stretching out the timeframe on these projects. That is better than giving up these projects entirely, and it is way better than ignoring my family in order to finish the projects. If you limit yourself to one or two kids, your kids will be grown up and out of the house in no time, and you'll never get that time back with them. "Out of the house" doesn't mean 18 and living somewhere else, it can mean 6 and in school most of the day, or 12 and in all kinds of activities all the time. Those early years are prime family time; I hope everyone is able to let themselves enjoy that period of life.

jdbernard 12y ago
I agree, and I've done that. In the last 5 years I have been at 4 different jobs. Life-work balance, technical competence, and competitive compensation, choose two. That about sums up my experience in that timeframe. I've only been in my current position for 8 months, so on the one hand I feel like I shouldn't bail this quickly. On the other hand, man have things changed from the impression I had when I started. I have looked at other jobs, and I'm thinking about picking up the search again, especially given the volume of mail I get from recruiters. Basically though I have given up on finding a job that matches what I want out of life. I feel a bit ungrateful because there is so much opportunity out there. People with our skills are in high demand. But after the last few years I have decided that the only reliable way to find a company that values what I value is to create it myself.

by japhyr 12y ago

jdbernard 12y ago

I agree, and I've done that. In the last 5 years I have been at 4 different jobs. Life-work balance, technical competence, and competitive compensation, choose two. That about sums up my experience in that timeframe. I've only been in my current position for 8 months, so on the one hand I feel like I shouldn't bail this quickly. On the other hand, man have things changed from the impression I had when I started. I have looked at other jobs, and I'm thinking about picking up the search again, especially given the volume of mail I get from recruiters. Basically though I have given up on finding a job that matches what I want out of life. I feel a bit ungrateful because there is so much opportunity out there. People with our skills are in high demand. But after the last few years I have decided that the only reliable way to find a company that values what I value is to create it myself.