4 ms·

I wish they had listed all the rules :-( I'm not autistic but I'd love to just have a list of rules to follow in social situations.

ibsulon 17y ago
http://www.autismawarenesscentre.org/book-review/the-hidden-curriculum-practical-solutions-for-understanding-unstated-rules-in-social-situations.html http://www.autismawarenesscentre.org/book-review/the-hidden-... is apparently a book on exactly this. http://www.parenting.org/behavior/socialskills/ http://www.parenting.org/behavior/socialskills/ is going to be the level they're talking about, though. I don't know if I'd be diagnosed autistic -- Taking the test retrospectively, I would have scored 39/50 on http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html as a kid and teenager, but score 25 now. I also do not have the classic difficulty deciphering faces, but do not know if that was always true or if I've learned. My trick? I ended up in an intense, somewhat abusive religious group that had a focus on evangelism. It was an environment where people were forced to interact positively, and I ended up learning hordes. While I had to completely relearn social interaction after leaving the group, I at least had a set of heuristics to follow. I've struggled to figure out a way to bring this without the religious system, and haven't quite figured it out yet.
- sethg 17y ago
  "Excuse me, sir, have you heard the good news about Emacs?"
- deleted 17y ago
  [deleted]
sethg 17y ago
My grandmother gave me Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior for my bar mitzvah. The Miss Manners books are not only fun to read and full of rules, but they are also interesting for some of her meta-level essays about general principles of well-mannered behavior.
tungstenfurnace 17y ago
Following rules isn't the worst thing, but their use is limited to not offending people in obvious ways. (Unless you try to follow rules about body language, which ultimately will creep people out.) The main thing in a social situation, geek or non-geek, is to be as relaxed and open as possible, without any expectations or worries. Easier said than done...
profquail 17y ago
Check this book out (How to Be a Gentleman): http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Contemporary-Courtesy/dp/1558535969 http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Contemporary-Courtesy... I got a copy around the time I started college, and it's really quite invaluable.

ibsulon 17y ago

http://www.autismawarenesscentre.org/book-review/the-hidden-curriculum-practical-solutions-for-understanding-unstated-rules-in-social-situations.html http://www.autismawarenesscentre.org/book-review/the-hidden-... is apparently a book on exactly this. http://www.parenting.org/behavior/socialskills/ http://www.parenting.org/behavior/socialskills/ is going to be the level they're talking about, though. I don't know if I'd be diagnosed autistic -- Taking the test retrospectively, I would have scored 39/50 on http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html as a kid and teenager, but score 25 now. I also do not have the classic difficulty deciphering faces, but do not know if that was always true or if I've learned. My trick? I ended up in an intense, somewhat abusive religious group that had a focus on evangelism. It was an environment where people were forced to interact positively, and I ended up learning hordes. While I had to completely relearn social interaction after leaving the group, I at least had a set of heuristics to follow. I've struggled to figure out a way to bring this without the religious system, and haven't quite figured it out yet.

sethg 17y ago
"Excuse me, sir, have you heard the good news about Emacs?"
deleted 17y ago
[deleted]

sethg 17y ago

My grandmother gave me Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior for my bar mitzvah. The Miss Manners books are not only fun to read and full of rules, but they are also interesting for some of her meta-level essays about general principles of well-mannered behavior.

tungstenfurnace 17y ago

Following rules isn't the worst thing, but their use is limited to not offending people in obvious ways. (Unless you try to follow rules about body language, which ultimately will creep people out.) The main thing in a social situation, geek or non-geek, is to be as relaxed and open as possible, without any expectations or worries. Easier said than done...

profquail 17y ago

Check this book out (How to Be a Gentleman): http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Contemporary-Courtesy/dp/1558535969 http://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Gentleman-Contemporary-Courtesy... I got a copy around the time I started college, and it's really quite invaluable.