4 ms·

I've always thought that women didn't go to extracurricular activities to find dates, and only men do this. I'd like to be told I'm wrong, but my experiences sh

by dubfan 12y ago

I've always thought that women didn't go to extracurricular activities to find dates, and only men do this. I'd like to be told I'm wrong, but my experiences show otherwise. Of course I do live in a west coast city infamous for its gender imbalance and the associated mentalities that go along with that.

peteretep 12y ago
> I've always thought that women didn't go to > extracurricular activities to find dates, and only > men do this Even if that were true, so what? Go do extracurricular activities to find female friends, to get some experience talking to women, and you're more likely one of them will introduce you to a friend who is looking.
PhasmaFelis 12y ago
> I've always thought that women didn't go to extracurricular activities to find dates, and only men do this. According to the article, if you feel you're lacking in immediate mate value and want to emphasize uniqueness instead, you shouldn't be trying to "find dates" but just to expand your social circle. That fits with my experience pretty well, actually. The idea isn't to meet a woman that you can ask out for coffee the next day; the idea is to start spending time with a wider range of folks, get them acquainted with your uniqueness, and increase the odds that one of them will either find your particular traits attractive or introduce you to someone who does. As a side benefit, you'll also be meeting new friends and broadening your horizons.
- fallinghawks 12y ago
  ^ This. It may vary depending on your age range, but as a middle-aged geeky woman I put a lot of value on being able to be friends, because that will last longer than looks, sexual ability, or other changeable factors.
fallinghawks 12y ago
I'd like to say you are wrong, but it's possible we are in different west coast cities. Meetups where I am (SF area) are pretty well populated with single women looking a mate or at least new friends. You may have to go outside your comfort zone to attend meetups that women are more likely to go to. My personal experiences with this: you'll find a good gender balance in groups for going trail hiking, especially with their dogs because everyone loves dogs and sometimes people have dogs because they are single. :) Wine tasting groups generally have more women. Movie watching groups have slightly more women. JQuery meetups have nearly no women. :)
Blackthorn 12y ago
It's not about finding dates. You don't go there with the intention to find dates -- you go there with the intention to meet women.

by dubfan 12y ago

peteretep 12y ago

> I've always thought that women didn't go to > extracurricular activities to find dates, and only > men do this Even if that were true, so what? Go do extracurricular activities to find female friends, to get some experience talking to women, and you're more likely one of them will introduce you to a friend who is looking.

PhasmaFelis 12y ago

> I've always thought that women didn't go to extracurricular activities to find dates, and only men do this. According to the article, if you feel you're lacking in immediate mate value and want to emphasize uniqueness instead, you shouldn't be trying to "find dates" but just to expand your social circle. That fits with my experience pretty well, actually. The idea isn't to meet a woman that you can ask out for coffee the next day; the idea is to start spending time with a wider range of folks, get them acquainted with your uniqueness, and increase the odds that one of them will either find your particular traits attractive or introduce you to someone who does. As a side benefit, you'll also be meeting new friends and broadening your horizons.

fallinghawks 12y ago
^ This. It may vary depending on your age range, but as a middle-aged geeky woman I put a lot of value on being able to be friends, because that will last longer than looks, sexual ability, or other changeable factors.

fallinghawks 12y ago

I'd like to say you are wrong, but it's possible we are in different west coast cities. Meetups where I am (SF area) are pretty well populated with single women looking a mate or at least new friends. You may have to go outside your comfort zone to attend meetups that women are more likely to go to. My personal experiences with this: you'll find a good gender balance in groups for going trail hiking, especially with their dogs because everyone loves dogs and sometimes people have dogs because they are single. :) Wine tasting groups generally have more women. Movie watching groups have slightly more women. JQuery meetups have nearly no women. :)

Blackthorn 12y ago

It's not about finding dates. You don't go there with the intention to find dates -- you go there with the intention to meet women.