4 ms·

Mid life criss used to hit at 40.. now its lot earlier. I had mine around the early 30's. Had done it all and was wondering what next. Marriage, kids decent jo

Mid life criss used to hit at 40.. now its lot earlier. I had mine around the early 30's. Had done it all and was wondering what next. Marriage, kids decent job, good pay, low expenses, decent house. Got rid of the job and pay and living off savings now. Will be 40 soon. Hopefully I will figure out the meaning of it all. For now I focus on living.

Swizec 12y ago
I think I'm having mine right now and I'm 26. I've pretty much got everything I've ever wanted out of life. Make enough money to live comfortably and have leftovers every month, have published a book, have started a business, am debt free, have complete freedom from everything. Really the only thing I still haven't done is publish in an academic journal. But my life has taken on a trajectory completely outside academia, so not sure that's likely to happen anymore. Everything else, it seems, is just a matter of degree. Eventually I will be financially more successful than I am now, but that will only get me a bunch of things I don't care for. I will publish more books and they might end up being more renowned or not, but there isn't really _that_ much you can do with renown other than turn it into even more financial success, or enjoy it out of pure vanity. And I guess I will start more businesses, launch more products, and some might even become hugely successful ... but that's just a matter of degree once you've passed the barrier of having done it once at all. Guess I could eventually start a family, but I've never wanted one of those. If I do start one it's going to be out of pure boredom and wanting to try new things. And that is probably the shittiest reason to start a family. Pretty much everything left on my bucket list is pure hedonism. But that seems like a shitty thing to strive for in life.
- carrotleads 12y ago
  I get the point about hedonism... My fear is that I think the worst is ahead of me. I have been so blessed and when I see suffering around the world, I feel undeserving of the good luck. It seems everyone's life has suffering in them and their share of bad luck. I have had challenges but I was able to overcome them. I guess I haven't come across yet of problems where I am helpless. I fear I haven't seen enough and its ahead.. There is also a part of instictive feel that tells me I only have maybe another 3-4 yrs left. For long time I have felt I won't see 45.
- CmonDev 12y ago
  "will only get me a bunch of things I don't care for" - you genuinely wouldn't want a (extra) house by the sea or make a trip to space or launch some physical product just for the fun of it?
  - Swizec 12y ago
    I wouldn't even know what to do with the first house, let alone a second one. I mean sure, I could always do with more stuff, but it doesn't bring me deep joy. I only enjoy it for the novelty ... and then I might as well just borrow it for the first two or three times until I get bored, then move on to the next borrowed thing. Ownership is meh. Too much hassle. Not enough novelty/excitement. Really the only reason to own things is so the taxman takes less and you "keep" more. Even if you keep it in a form you don't particularly need.
    - extra88 12y ago
      My previous response was about finding meaning from interpersonal dependence, I totally get not wanting to develop a dependence on "things." However renting a home means you're paying someone else's "taxman" for them and paying for the privilege for doing so. If you've done really well financially, you get to the point where you pay off the bank and it's only the taxman you owe to keep a roof over your head. You're already saving, that's good, for the time many years in the future when you can no longer work. Also think about saving for a time when you'll feel differently about owning things and/or having kids.
- extra88 12y ago
  > have complete freedom from everything Well there's your problem. I'm not speaking from experience but it seems a lot of people find meaning in the sense of others counting on you, if not depending on you. Having a spouse/life partner/whatever brings meaning and having children is the most obvious and common form but there are lots of other ways.

Swizec 12y ago

I think I'm having mine right now and I'm 26. I've pretty much got everything I've ever wanted out of life. Make enough money to live comfortably and have leftovers every month, have published a book, have started a business, am debt free, have complete freedom from everything. Really the only thing I still haven't done is publish in an academic journal. But my life has taken on a trajectory completely outside academia, so not sure that's likely to happen anymore. Everything else, it seems, is just a matter of degree. Eventually I will be financially more successful than I am now, but that will only get me a bunch of things I don't care for. I will publish more books and they might end up being more renowned or not, but there isn't really _that_ much you can do with renown other than turn it into even more financial success, or enjoy it out of pure vanity. And I guess I will start more businesses, launch more products, and some might even become hugely successful ... but that's just a matter of degree once you've passed the barrier of having done it once at all. Guess I could eventually start a family, but I've never wanted one of those. If I do start one it's going to be out of pure boredom and wanting to try new things. And that is probably the shittiest reason to start a family. Pretty much everything left on my bucket list is pure hedonism. But that seems like a shitty thing to strive for in life.

carrotleads 12y ago
I get the point about hedonism... My fear is that I think the worst is ahead of me. I have been so blessed and when I see suffering around the world, I feel undeserving of the good luck. It seems everyone's life has suffering in them and their share of bad luck. I have had challenges but I was able to overcome them. I guess I haven't come across yet of problems where I am helpless. I fear I haven't seen enough and its ahead.. There is also a part of instictive feel that tells me I only have maybe another 3-4 yrs left. For long time I have felt I won't see 45.
CmonDev 12y ago
"will only get me a bunch of things I don't care for" - you genuinely wouldn't want a (extra) house by the sea or make a trip to space or launch some physical product just for the fun of it?
- Swizec 12y ago
  I wouldn't even know what to do with the first house, let alone a second one. I mean sure, I could always do with more stuff, but it doesn't bring me deep joy. I only enjoy it for the novelty ... and then I might as well just borrow it for the first two or three times until I get bored, then move on to the next borrowed thing. Ownership is meh. Too much hassle. Not enough novelty/excitement. Really the only reason to own things is so the taxman takes less and you "keep" more. Even if you keep it in a form you don't particularly need.
  - extra88 12y ago
    My previous response was about finding meaning from interpersonal dependence, I totally get not wanting to develop a dependence on "things." However renting a home means you're paying someone else's "taxman" for them and paying for the privilege for doing so. If you've done really well financially, you get to the point where you pay off the bank and it's only the taxman you owe to keep a roof over your head. You're already saving, that's good, for the time many years in the future when you can no longer work. Also think about saving for a time when you'll feel differently about owning things and/or having kids.
extra88 12y ago
> have complete freedom from everything Well there's your problem. I'm not speaking from experience but it seems a lot of people find meaning in the sense of others counting on you, if not depending on you. Having a spouse/life partner/whatever brings meaning and having children is the most obvious and common form but there are lots of other ways.