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> Life. Fucking. Sucks. I'm going to be reinforcing your feeling that no one understands how you feel. I'm really sorry about about the death of you're mother

by sspiff 12y ago

> Life. Fucking. Sucks. I'm going to be reinforcing your feeling that no one understands how you feel. I'm really sorry about about the death of you're mother. Death however, is part of life. People die, and people close to you will continue to die at an increasing rate until it is finally your turn. I understand that you are grieving and that losing a loved one (especially a parent, child or partner) is an extremely painful event. But that doesn't mean that all of life sucks.

eli_gottlieb 12y ago
>I'm really sorry about about the death of you're mother. Death however, is part of life. People die, and people close to you will continue to die at an increasing rate until it is finally your turn. That's a pretty lousy thing to say, considering his mother died of cancer rather than old age.
- Sammi 12y ago
  I don't understand you. I mean, until medicine becomes perfect, then is sickness an any more unreasonable cause of death than old age? Perfect medicine would also cure death from old age, right?
  - eli_gottlieb 12y ago
    >I mean, until medicine becomes perfect, then is sickness an any more unreasonable cause of death than old age? Yes, of course. It's much better to die peacefully and in full possession of one's self than of wasting sickness or mental degeneration. As in, several people in my family have living wills to this effect, that kind of better. >Perfect medicine would also cure death from old age, right? Once again: yes, of course. But we're nowhere near there yet, so what we can do is make sure people can die without suffering overmuch.
    - deleted 12y ago
      [deleted]
- sspiff 12y ago
  I don't know the details of his mothers' passing. Regardless, cancer and old age are not mutually exclusive, and whatever the case here, the statement I made still applies. Death by illness or by car accidents is as much part of life today as is death by old age. In fact, very few people die of old age alone.
zwegner 12y ago
But all of life does suck. It's also all beautiful, and amazing, and completely meaningless, yet full of meaning. To me it's all a big joke. Nothing makes sense. Basically, yeah, it's more complicated than what I expressed in my comment. I used some poetic license. But thanks, though.
- deleted 12y ago
  [deleted]
- sspiff 12y ago
  > But all of life does suck. It's also all beautiful, and amazing, and completely meaningless, yet full of meaning. To me it's all a big joke. Nothing makes sense. That's something I can get behind! Good look processing your loss.
zgoat 12y ago
So if yourself, or Sammi (below), experienced a partner or loved one gradually rotting away from terminal cancer, you would of course be as perfectly detached and rational in examining life while you were grieving over the event? Responses to threads like this are why I always eventually regret being a frequent reader of hacker news. These comments can only come from people who have never experienced this kind of loss and think its appropriate to rationalise away the emotion of the event; or who are genuinely blunted enough emotionally that you cannot empathise with someone and appreciate why these replies aren't considerate or even remotely civil. I refuse to believe that someone could experience this kind of loss and still genuinely hold the point of view that challenging grievers as to the correctness of their world view is a constructive or compassionate thing to do. Of course death is a part of life. It doesn't mean it should be trivialised. It is one of the most significant events that will occur in your life, and grief absolutely shapes the way someone perceives the world while they recover from it. Yes, "Life fucking sucks" is a statement that doesn't take into account the whole scope of life at that point in time, but I would estimate that from the grievers perspective it is a very accurate summary of how things feel. Every time I see a topic on here relating to something other than technology or money I cringe before opening the comments section, because while a minority of participants, it is almost guaranteed that someone will be trying to rationalise away the significance of death, gender issues, class imbalance etc. It really wouldn't hurt some people here to step away from their collection of technical domains and deal with some people outside of their bubble once in a while.
- ACow_Adonis 12y ago
  I've got no grandparent's left, having lived through watching/caring for several of them go through protracted dementia/alzheimers with my mother and our family as carers and the associated joys of that. My cousin killed himself a year or two ago. My mother got a cancer diagnosis last year. I'm not trying to rack up a body count, or post that to measure my e-penis, but it might stop you and other's like you dismissing this out of hand. I think that guy up there you're responding to is spot on. Death is part of life. My parents, and my wife's parents, are probably going to waste away, and probably get mistreated in a nursing home/hospital just like my grandparents were shuffled off and hidden from the living because we're all (i.e. our entire society) so chicken-shit scared of talking about this or dealing with it like adults. Instead we prod it with kiddy-gloves and pretend it doesn't happen. Truthfully, i find your response more insulting and condescending than the person you're responding to. I don't mean that as a flame, its how i feel. I don't think your post should be downvoted. Its a valid perspective that you're obviously sincere about. But one that needs to be taken with a counteragent like myself to point out that you're just telling us all there's one way we're all supposed to feel about and treat grief, that its your way, and the rest of us are wrong.
marincounty 12y ago
embm * engage mind before mouth

by sspiff 12y ago

eli_gottlieb 12y ago

>I'm really sorry about about the death of you're mother. Death however, is part of life. People die, and people close to you will continue to die at an increasing rate until it is finally your turn. That's a pretty lousy thing to say, considering his mother died of cancer rather than old age.

Sammi 12y ago
I don't understand you. I mean, until medicine becomes perfect, then is sickness an any more unreasonable cause of death than old age? Perfect medicine would also cure death from old age, right?
- eli_gottlieb 12y ago
  >I mean, until medicine becomes perfect, then is sickness an any more unreasonable cause of death than old age? Yes, of course. It's much better to die peacefully and in full possession of one's self than of wasting sickness or mental degeneration. As in, several people in my family have living wills to this effect, that kind of better. >Perfect medicine would also cure death from old age, right? Once again: yes, of course. But we're nowhere near there yet, so what we can do is make sure people can die without suffering overmuch.
  - deleted 12y ago
    [deleted]
sspiff 12y ago
I don't know the details of his mothers' passing. Regardless, cancer and old age are not mutually exclusive, and whatever the case here, the statement I made still applies. Death by illness or by car accidents is as much part of life today as is death by old age. In fact, very few people die of old age alone.

zwegner 12y ago

But all of life does suck. It's also all beautiful, and amazing, and completely meaningless, yet full of meaning. To me it's all a big joke. Nothing makes sense. Basically, yeah, it's more complicated than what I expressed in my comment. I used some poetic license. But thanks, though.

deleted 12y ago
[deleted]
sspiff 12y ago
> But all of life does suck. It's also all beautiful, and amazing, and completely meaningless, yet full of meaning. To me it's all a big joke. Nothing makes sense. That's something I can get behind! Good look processing your loss.

zgoat 12y ago

So if yourself, or Sammi (below), experienced a partner or loved one gradually rotting away from terminal cancer, you would of course be as perfectly detached and rational in examining life while you were grieving over the event? Responses to threads like this are why I always eventually regret being a frequent reader of hacker news. These comments can only come from people who have never experienced this kind of loss and think its appropriate to rationalise away the emotion of the event; or who are genuinely blunted enough emotionally that you cannot empathise with someone and appreciate why these replies aren't considerate or even remotely civil. I refuse to believe that someone could experience this kind of loss and still genuinely hold the point of view that challenging grievers as to the correctness of their world view is a constructive or compassionate thing to do. Of course death is a part of life. It doesn't mean it should be trivialised. It is one of the most significant events that will occur in your life, and grief absolutely shapes the way someone perceives the world while they recover from it. Yes, "Life fucking sucks" is a statement that doesn't take into account the whole scope of life at that point in time, but I would estimate that from the grievers perspective it is a very accurate summary of how things feel. Every time I see a topic on here relating to something other than technology or money I cringe before opening the comments section, because while a minority of participants, it is almost guaranteed that someone will be trying to rationalise away the significance of death, gender issues, class imbalance etc. It really wouldn't hurt some people here to step away from their collection of technical domains and deal with some people outside of their bubble once in a while.

ACow_Adonis 12y ago
I've got no grandparent's left, having lived through watching/caring for several of them go through protracted dementia/alzheimers with my mother and our family as carers and the associated joys of that. My cousin killed himself a year or two ago. My mother got a cancer diagnosis last year. I'm not trying to rack up a body count, or post that to measure my e-penis, but it might stop you and other's like you dismissing this out of hand. I think that guy up there you're responding to is spot on. Death is part of life. My parents, and my wife's parents, are probably going to waste away, and probably get mistreated in a nursing home/hospital just like my grandparents were shuffled off and hidden from the living because we're all (i.e. our entire society) so chicken-shit scared of talking about this or dealing with it like adults. Instead we prod it with kiddy-gloves and pretend it doesn't happen. Truthfully, i find your response more insulting and condescending than the person you're responding to. I don't mean that as a flame, its how i feel. I don't think your post should be downvoted. Its a valid perspective that you're obviously sincere about. But one that needs to be taken with a counteragent like myself to point out that you're just telling us all there's one way we're all supposed to feel about and treat grief, that its your way, and the rest of us are wrong.

marincounty 12y ago

embm * engage mind before mouth