It's absolutely table stakes to avoid being an asshole and understand you and your interlocutor's backgrounds and experiences as best you can. No one needs to,

It's absolutely table stakes to avoid being an asshole and understand you and your interlocutor's backgrounds and experiences as best you can. No one needs to, or should, diminish the life experiences of others to make their point. That's just as fallacious as employing "check your privilege." But coming to the table with a mutual understanding and respect is just the first, frankly boring part of a meeting of opposing ideas. Far more interesting is where the discussion leads in substance: an opportunity for enlightenment that everybody loses when "derailing" happens on both sides.