If you want Google to leave you alone for the rest of eternity, all you have to do is go work there and enjoy the perks for a few months (the food is excellent

If you want Google to leave you alone for the rest of eternity, all you have to do is go work there and enjoy the perks for a few months (the food is excellent and they pay quite well) and then try to find work more suitable to your skill set than what the Hogwarts Hat of blind allocation has assigned you to for the next 2 years of your life(1). Since you will most likely have been assigned to a team no one wants to work on (hence the openings), the mere act of questioning the almighty G will enrage the inept mid-level management chain and they will in turn blacklist you with HR. Once you are blacklisted, you will be cordially invited to not let the portal barrier impact your posterior on the way out. And beyond occasional accidental profile views on linkedin, no more Google recruitment spam. It worked for me. It can work for you. 1. Exceptions to this rule are when you are hand-picked for a moonshot, an acquihire, or for your specific skills, at which point, Google is an excellent place to work. Ignore everything I'm saying in these cases, you've hit the jackpot.