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Thank you for sharing this. I had my own version of a similar thing and the strangest part about it, which I think you may agree with, was that as someone who c

Thank you for sharing this. I had my own version of a similar thing and the strangest part about it, which I think you may agree with, was that as someone who considered themselves smart, I could tell that many of my thoughts were totally crazy, BUT THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SOME OF THEM WOULD TOTALLY ADD UP AND COME TO PASS. I totally agree with you also about how it's "hard to even think about this now without getting drawn into it." A voice in my head early on told me to immediately stop taking any/all substances (I quit all drugs, alcohol, cigarettes cold turkey due to this and have been completely sober because of it since 2008) and so I was able to avoid being hospitalized or scaring other people, but INTERNALLY, I was just as crazy as you were. I am REALLY curious as to what this is because it seems like a very "real" realm that one can just pop into somehow--for us, probably due to drugs or what not--but "real" nevertheless. For instance, these days I have so many positive coincidences or "synchronicities" as I/Jung/others like to call them. And these feel no "less real" or "less crazy" than the nightmare I experienced at that point. I've only met 1 or 2 other people who were not crazy people who could relate at all to this experience of mine so if you'd ever like to chat, I'm easily findable thru teh interwebs. To anyone else reading this who thinks it all sounds very crazy, that's exactly what I would have thought before it happened to me! Now, I wouldn't say it's any less crazy, but it's definitely less write-off-able.

bobsgame 12y ago
This is why there are so many religions. Nobody really know what's going on. The official narrative doesn't explain everything, it's more like a comfortable half-truth. We're trained from birth to buy into a completely rational scientific viewpoint of the world, which is clearly accurate- but it's actually more like measuring objects inside of World of Warcraft when it's obvious that there's something bigger going on outside of the game. It just doesn't matter that much and isn't as interesting as the realization that we have no idea what we're in. We are rewarded for buying into the official narrative with social credits by an organization we have created to control our minds (govern-ment). People want to be comforted and feel like they have control over what's going on, and society pays us to sell them these comfortable reassurances. This is social control and it makes us productive. Most cultures become more spiritual and religion plays a more significant role as we age. Psychotic shock from emotional damage (this is not necessary schizophrenia or "insanity") is actually a necessary part of the human growth process. It's pretty much impossible to explain this to younger people, the only thing one can do as an adult is to program our children with the metaphors of choice (religion) to give them something to cling to when their bubble bursts. Please see my website for my full story if you appreciate my explanation here.
- h1karu 12y ago
  Or you could teach your children something like Zen buddhism or Theravada vipassana meditation so they can learn to slowly and methodologically take their bubble apart and put it back together with each session of sitting practice. This way they don't get whacked over the head with it all at once and run screaming and crying to some form of fundamentalism, an extremist cult, or end up committed to some state institution. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana
  - bobsgame 12y ago
    What a pleasant coincidence, I have been planning on going to a Vipassana 10-day retreat later this month. I also happen to have gone to Game Closure's Thursday night parties a few times. They are nice people. I also am a fan of gwern. I also just started a Kickstarter (since I am homeless) for my game and website which are very closely related to this topic. What a nice group of coincidences. Personally I believe it is because we are all part of a hive, and that we are also in a divine simulation of sorts, but that is all besides the point. I'll plug my Kickstarter in a new topic later this week when I make a nicer video. Anyway, I believe all religions are correct (including Scientology) and that they function as abstract subconscious metaphors. Is Buddhism not a religion?
    - h1karu 12y ago
      I would argue that Zen buddhism is not a religion, and vipassana/samatha meditation practice isn't in any way religious, as in there's nothing you're being asked to believe outside of what you can absolutely confirm for yourself in your moment to moment experience.
      - bobsgame 12y ago
        My personal interpretation of religion fits that description for the most part, but I think that is different from most.
  - otisfunkmeyer 12y ago
h1karu 12y ago
Serendipity doesn't mean you're crazy, some people experience it more than others. Just relax. If you think that every time you experience one it means you're going mad then maybe you really will :) All the existence of serendipity points to is that mainstream science doesn't fully understand how the universe works, it doesn't mean that you're crazy. "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick
- otisfunkmeyer 12y ago
  My reply to another poster about the SPECIFICITY and UNIVERSALITY of these experiences sums up my interest. If I am crazy now, I am quite happy about it. Quite relaxed, if you will.
  - h1karu 12y ago
    ROFL I just glanced @ your blog. I see you've made the most of the situation
- MarkPNeyer 12y ago
  "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick The truth is something that doesn't go away - even if everyone stops believing in it. there is a huge difference. i didn't except reality because i was only interested in the truth. i understand now that i can't operate if i don't accept reality - and that's true.
marvin 12y ago
You are probably having psychotic episodes. Ditto for GP. Nothing wrong with that. It means you have a health issue. It would probably be a good idea to talk to a doctor about these experiences. Why the distinction between "crazy people" and normal people? Most of us have some degree of crazy in us, the important bit is managing it so you don't hurt yourself or others.

bobsgame 12y ago

This is why there are so many religions. Nobody really know what's going on. The official narrative doesn't explain everything, it's more like a comfortable half-truth. We're trained from birth to buy into a completely rational scientific viewpoint of the world, which is clearly accurate- but it's actually more like measuring objects inside of World of Warcraft when it's obvious that there's something bigger going on outside of the game. It just doesn't matter that much and isn't as interesting as the realization that we have no idea what we're in. We are rewarded for buying into the official narrative with social credits by an organization we have created to control our minds (govern-ment). People want to be comforted and feel like they have control over what's going on, and society pays us to sell them these comfortable reassurances. This is social control and it makes us productive. Most cultures become more spiritual and religion plays a more significant role as we age. Psychotic shock from emotional damage (this is not necessary schizophrenia or "insanity") is actually a necessary part of the human growth process. It's pretty much impossible to explain this to younger people, the only thing one can do as an adult is to program our children with the metaphors of choice (religion) to give them something to cling to when their bubble bursts. Please see my website for my full story if you appreciate my explanation here.

h1karu 12y ago
Or you could teach your children something like Zen buddhism or Theravada vipassana meditation so they can learn to slowly and methodologically take their bubble apart and put it back together with each session of sitting practice. This way they don't get whacked over the head with it all at once and run screaming and crying to some form of fundamentalism, an extremist cult, or end up committed to some state institution. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana
- bobsgame 12y ago
  What a pleasant coincidence, I have been planning on going to a Vipassana 10-day retreat later this month. I also happen to have gone to Game Closure's Thursday night parties a few times. They are nice people. I also am a fan of gwern. I also just started a Kickstarter (since I am homeless) for my game and website which are very closely related to this topic. What a nice group of coincidences. Personally I believe it is because we are all part of a hive, and that we are also in a divine simulation of sorts, but that is all besides the point. I'll plug my Kickstarter in a new topic later this week when I make a nicer video. Anyway, I believe all religions are correct (including Scientology) and that they function as abstract subconscious metaphors. Is Buddhism not a religion?
  - h1karu 12y ago
    I would argue that Zen buddhism is not a religion, and vipassana/samatha meditation practice isn't in any way religious, as in there's nothing you're being asked to believe outside of what you can absolutely confirm for yourself in your moment to moment experience.
    - bobsgame 12y ago
      My personal interpretation of religion fits that description for the most part, but I think that is different from most.
- otisfunkmeyer 12y ago

h1karu 12y ago

Serendipity doesn't mean you're crazy, some people experience it more than others. Just relax. If you think that every time you experience one it means you're going mad then maybe you really will :) All the existence of serendipity points to is that mainstream science doesn't fully understand how the universe works, it doesn't mean that you're crazy. "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick

otisfunkmeyer 12y ago
My reply to another poster about the SPECIFICITY and UNIVERSALITY of these experiences sums up my interest. If I am crazy now, I am quite happy about it. Quite relaxed, if you will.
- h1karu 12y ago
  ROFL I just glanced @ your blog. I see you've made the most of the situation
MarkPNeyer 12y ago
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." - Philip K. Dick The truth is something that doesn't go away - even if everyone stops believing in it. there is a huge difference. i didn't except reality because i was only interested in the truth. i understand now that i can't operate if i don't accept reality - and that's true.

marvin 12y ago

You are probably having psychotic episodes. Ditto for GP. Nothing wrong with that. It means you have a health issue. It would probably be a good idea to talk to a doctor about these experiences. Why the distinction between "crazy people" and normal people? Most of us have some degree of crazy in us, the important bit is managing it so you don't hurt yourself or others.