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That's the local stereotype also, that Swedes and Finns are more reserved than Danes [1]. I think it's still pretty uncommon (almost taboo) for Danes to start u
by _delirium 13y ago
That's the local stereotype also, that Swedes and Finns are more reserved than Danes [1]. I think it's still pretty uncommon (almost taboo) for Danes to start up conversations with other Danes on public transit (or in grocery stores), though, especially during regular hours on a weekday. There are usually 6-10 people at the bus stop in Copenhagen I wait at most mornings, and nobody is ever saying anything to anyone! The bus ride is usually near-silent as well. When I was in California this would usually result in at least something spoken, a few minutes of conversation about the weather or the timeliness of public transit if nothing else.
Things are more social on weekend evenings where people are on their way "out", though, that's true. And I think starting conversations with foreigners is also done more readily than with Danes, because it sort of suspends some cultural norms. Once you hear someone speak English (or another language) there's an assumption they're probably interested in talking to locals, whereas the assumption is that the average (Danish) commuter doesn't want to be bothered. Plus there's a range of easy intro lines: "where're you from?" or "what brings you to Copenhagen?" or "hey are you guys Australian?"
But to give an example of the kind of thing that was normal in California but which I've never seen in Denmark: checking out at a Trader Joe's and the clerk starting a conversation by asking some random question about what I'm buying. If I'm buying tomatoes & avocadoes, he or she might ask if I'm making guacamole, and mention they did that last weekend and then share a tip about their favorite recipe. Or if I'm buying a bottle of gin, asking if I like it in gin & tonics or in martinis. Or comment on things like, "hey man you look pretty tired, long day eh?" It can start interesting conversations (or sometimes, awkward ones), but either way that kind of interaction in a grocery line would be seen as super-weird and an intrusion on privacy in Denmark.
[1] Informative and somewhat amusing: http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html
- foobarian 13y ago> checking out at a Trader Joe's I wouldn't draw any conclusions based on Trader Joe's. Their cashiers are friendly and quirky in that same manner around Boston as well. I wonder how they sustain that kind of culture; maybe the pay is better? Some unique interviewing process?
- deleted 13y ago[deleted]
- Cthulhu_ 13y agoI don't know, all it takes (imo) is a healthy culture, something that's taught to people when they start in a few bullet points about culture / values, and then further encouraged by the team (with probably a supervisor encouraging it if the staff doesn't pick it up themselves).
- brightsize 13y agoDitto in my little backwater of Spokane, WA. I hadn't thought of it before but I have had fairly in-depth conversations with cashiers at the store, probably much to the annoyance of the people behind me. A few months ago I got into a discussion about travel with a 20-something TJs cashier as she bagged my groceries. She told me about her volunteer work in Europe to help the Roma. I asked about all the Roma scammers I'd encountered in tourist spots in .de, and she gave me some political/cultural background about that. Now that you mention it I wouldn't be surprised to find that all the chatting adds a bit of pleasure to the shopping experience that encourages people to shop there again, and that management encourages it. I have to believe that the propeller-heads back at HQ have this all figured out. One striking difference between American and German shopping is that in the latter, the staff would rather die than help you shop. I've never been approached by an employee asking "Are you finding everything OK?" for example. Nichts when cashing-out either, you'll be lucky to get a "hallo". I wonder if there's a "don't talk to strangers" principle at work with that? Maybe they simply don't care - not their job - or think you should be able to find stuff on your own if you're not an idiot?
- robryan 13y agoIt depends, I think on the whole it probably is a positive bit depending on the store can be off putting to certain people. For example with clothes shopping I have avoided shops which in the past have tried to be overly helpful. I much prefer to browse and try things on on my own and then if I do need help have someone to ask.
- rjurney 13y agoI live in a small town in the Bay Area called Pacifica, and its pretty rude to not chat up the cashiers at the grocery store here. They get bored without human contact, their job is pretty repetitive. Over time you get to know them. Its kind of cool, and why I like Pacifica.