I'm going to chime in to the chorus of "Why wasn't X mentioned" and throw out Scala.js. It would seem that Scala solves quite a few of the article's complaints

I'm going to chime in to the chorus of "Why wasn't X mentioned" and throw out Scala.js. It would seem that Scala solves quite a few of the article's complaints about Javascript, and in a manner that is accessible and usable for the masses. I love Haskell as much as the next guy, but I'd rather use Scala if i need to get stuff done.