4 ms·

I hear this all the time, yet when I was in Denmark and Iceland I found that folks never seemed to be weirded out if I started a conversation with them (when or

by jvrossb 12y ago

I hear this all the time, yet when I was in Denmark and Iceland I found that folks never seemed to be weirded out if I started a conversation with them (when ordering food, waiting for a bus, or out in a bar for example) in fact they'd often happily chat and even sometimes invite me along to where they were going next if they were out partying/drinking. Danes and Icelanders struck me as an incredibly friendly bunch. I've even had several people strike up conversations with me in both countries. That being said when I was in Copenhagen I did notice that this openness didn't seem to be nearly as present amongst the Swedes who came over from Malmö. Come to think of it during my travels in Denmark and Iceland the only time Finns or Swedes ever struck up conversation with me was when they were drunk.

_delirium 12y ago
That's the local stereotype also, that Swedes and Finns are more reserved than Danes [1]. I think it's still pretty uncommon (almost taboo) for Danes to start up conversations with other Danes on public transit (or in grocery stores), though, especially during regular hours on a weekday. There are usually 6-10 people at the bus stop in Copenhagen I wait at most mornings, and nobody is ever saying anything to anyone! The bus ride is usually near-silent as well. When I was in California this would usually result in at least something spoken, a few minutes of conversation about the weather or the timeliness of public transit if nothing else. Things are more social on weekend evenings where people are on their way "out", though, that's true. And I think starting conversations with foreigners is also done more readily than with Danes, because it sort of suspends some cultural norms. Once you hear someone speak English (or another language) there's an assumption they're probably interested in talking to locals, whereas the assumption is that the average (Danish) commuter doesn't want to be bothered. Plus there's a range of easy intro lines: "where're you from?" or "what brings you to Copenhagen?" or "hey are you guys Australian?" But to give an example of the kind of thing that was normal in California but which I've never seen in Denmark: checking out at a Trader Joe's and the clerk starting a conversation by asking some random question about what I'm buying. If I'm buying tomatoes & avocadoes, he or she might ask if I'm making guacamole, and mention they did that last weekend and then share a tip about their favorite recipe. Or if I'm buying a bottle of gin, asking if I like it in gin & tonics or in martinis. Or comment on things like, "hey man you look pretty tired, long day eh?" It can start interesting conversations (or sometimes, awkward ones), but either way that kind of interaction in a grocery line would be seen as super-weird and an intrusion on privacy in Denmark. [1] Informative and somewhat amusing: http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html
- foobarian 12y ago
  > checking out at a Trader Joe's I wouldn't draw any conclusions based on Trader Joe's. Their cashiers are friendly and quirky in that same manner around Boston as well. I wonder how they sustain that kind of culture; maybe the pay is better? Some unique interviewing process?
  - deleted 12y ago
    [deleted]
  - Cthulhu_ 12y ago
    I don't know, all it takes (imo) is a healthy culture, something that's taught to people when they start in a few bullet points about culture / values, and then further encouraged by the team (with probably a supervisor encouraging it if the staff doesn't pick it up themselves).
  - brightsize 12y ago
    Ditto in my little backwater of Spokane, WA. I hadn't thought of it before but I have had fairly in-depth conversations with cashiers at the store, probably much to the annoyance of the people behind me. A few months ago I got into a discussion about travel with a 20-something TJs cashier as she bagged my groceries. She told me about her volunteer work in Europe to help the Roma. I asked about all the Roma scammers I'd encountered in tourist spots in .de, and she gave me some political/cultural background about that. Now that you mention it I wouldn't be surprised to find that all the chatting adds a bit of pleasure to the shopping experience that encourages people to shop there again, and that management encourages it. I have to believe that the propeller-heads back at HQ have this all figured out. One striking difference between American and German shopping is that in the latter, the staff would rather die than help you shop. I've never been approached by an employee asking "Are you finding everything OK?" for example. Nichts when cashing-out either, you'll be lucky to get a "hallo". I wonder if there's a "don't talk to strangers" principle at work with that? Maybe they simply don't care - not their job - or think you should be able to find stuff on your own if you're not an idiot?
    - 12y ago

by jvrossb 12y ago

_delirium 12y ago

That's the local stereotype also, that Swedes and Finns are more reserved than Danes [1]. I think it's still pretty uncommon (almost taboo) for Danes to start up conversations with other Danes on public transit (or in grocery stores), though, especially during regular hours on a weekday. There are usually 6-10 people at the bus stop in Copenhagen I wait at most mornings, and nobody is ever saying anything to anyone! The bus ride is usually near-silent as well. When I was in California this would usually result in at least something spoken, a few minutes of conversation about the weather or the timeliness of public transit if nothing else. Things are more social on weekend evenings where people are on their way "out", though, that's true. And I think starting conversations with foreigners is also done more readily than with Danes, because it sort of suspends some cultural norms. Once you hear someone speak English (or another language) there's an assumption they're probably interested in talking to locals, whereas the assumption is that the average (Danish) commuter doesn't want to be bothered. Plus there's a range of easy intro lines: "where're you from?" or "what brings you to Copenhagen?" or "hey are you guys Australian?" But to give an example of the kind of thing that was normal in California but which I've never seen in Denmark: checking out at a Trader Joe's and the clerk starting a conversation by asking some random question about what I'm buying. If I'm buying tomatoes & avocadoes, he or she might ask if I'm making guacamole, and mention they did that last weekend and then share a tip about their favorite recipe. Or if I'm buying a bottle of gin, asking if I like it in gin & tonics or in martinis. Or comment on things like, "hey man you look pretty tired, long day eh?" It can start interesting conversations (or sometimes, awkward ones), but either way that kind of interaction in a grocery line would be seen as super-weird and an intrusion on privacy in Denmark. [1] Informative and somewhat amusing: http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html http://folk.uio.no/geirthe/Scandinavian_images.html

foobarian 12y ago
> checking out at a Trader Joe's I wouldn't draw any conclusions based on Trader Joe's. Their cashiers are friendly and quirky in that same manner around Boston as well. I wonder how they sustain that kind of culture; maybe the pay is better? Some unique interviewing process?
- deleted 12y ago
  [deleted]
- Cthulhu_ 12y ago
  I don't know, all it takes (imo) is a healthy culture, something that's taught to people when they start in a few bullet points about culture / values, and then further encouraged by the team (with probably a supervisor encouraging it if the staff doesn't pick it up themselves).
- brightsize 12y ago
  Ditto in my little backwater of Spokane, WA. I hadn't thought of it before but I have had fairly in-depth conversations with cashiers at the store, probably much to the annoyance of the people behind me. A few months ago I got into a discussion about travel with a 20-something TJs cashier as she bagged my groceries. She told me about her volunteer work in Europe to help the Roma. I asked about all the Roma scammers I'd encountered in tourist spots in .de, and she gave me some political/cultural background about that. Now that you mention it I wouldn't be surprised to find that all the chatting adds a bit of pleasure to the shopping experience that encourages people to shop there again, and that management encourages it. I have to believe that the propeller-heads back at HQ have this all figured out. One striking difference between American and German shopping is that in the latter, the staff would rather die than help you shop. I've never been approached by an employee asking "Are you finding everything OK?" for example. Nichts when cashing-out either, you'll be lucky to get a "hallo". I wonder if there's a "don't talk to strangers" principle at work with that? Maybe they simply don't care - not their job - or think you should be able to find stuff on your own if you're not an idiot?
  - 12y ago