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You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. The worst part was when I met them again, many of them wouldn't recognize me! I was main

You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. The worst part was when I met them again, many of them wouldn't recognize me! I was mainly referring to the convenience/activity/mentor friends described in the article.

bra-ket 13y ago
I bet they'd recognize you if you were perceived as someone potentially "useful" to them. I noticed the friendships here are often centered around very pragmatic sense of utility.
zhemao 13y ago
> Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason Why should one need a reason to be friendly? Would you rather people be curt and standoffish by default?
- ashwinaj 13y ago
  Well I said outwardly friendly. As in like we grew up together in the same neighborhood kind of friendly.
  - Uberphallus 13y ago
    Same happened when I had interviews for American companies. They were so excited about everything and overly enthusiastic I can't help but thing I'm being interviewed by psychos.
    - aestra 13y ago
      In the United States this is considered a "normal" amount of politeness. In some other cultures it is considered weird and fake. Some Americans go abroad and complain everyone was "rude" to them not realizing the cultural differences.
- lmm 13y ago
  If everyone is your friend then no-one is. I wouldn't say curt and standoffish, but it's good to keep a certain amount of distance and formality with people you're not actually friends with so that you both know where you stand.
  - Hasu 13y ago
    Unless friendliness is an expected social signal, and there's a separate signal, known to the local culture, but not to you, that says, "I'm being nice but we aren't actually friends".
theorique 13y ago
You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. Politeness norms. For whatever reason, in the US, there's a certain base line expectation of cheeriness. Especially in service staff like waiters or flight attendants. ("Hi, welcome to McTuckey's. My name's Megan and I'll be taking care of you tonight.")
- aestra 13y ago
  This really bothers me. I don't care if someone is "cheery" as long as they just do their job. People justify tipping service personnel (bar tenders, waitstaff) over them getting a fair salary because if they didn't tip "how would I get good service? There's no incentive without a tip." I believe some people believe "good service" means fakely cheery while to me it is "you brought me my food." If you aren't faking a smile and elevating your voice you are being "rude."

bra-ket 13y ago

I bet they'd recognize you if you were perceived as someone potentially "useful" to them. I noticed the friendships here are often centered around very pragmatic sense of utility.

zhemao 13y ago

> Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason Why should one need a reason to be friendly? Would you rather people be curt and standoffish by default?

ashwinaj 13y ago
Well I said outwardly friendly. As in like we grew up together in the same neighborhood kind of friendly.
- Uberphallus 13y ago
  Same happened when I had interviews for American companies. They were so excited about everything and overly enthusiastic I can't help but thing I'm being interviewed by psychos.
  - aestra 13y ago
    In the United States this is considered a "normal" amount of politeness. In some other cultures it is considered weird and fake. Some Americans go abroad and complain everyone was "rude" to them not realizing the cultural differences.
lmm 13y ago
If everyone is your friend then no-one is. I wouldn't say curt and standoffish, but it's good to keep a certain amount of distance and formality with people you're not actually friends with so that you both know where you stand.
- Hasu 13y ago
  Unless friendliness is an expected social signal, and there's a separate signal, known to the local culture, but not to you, that says, "I'm being nice but we aren't actually friends".

theorique 13y ago

You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. Politeness norms. For whatever reason, in the US, there's a certain base line expectation of cheeriness. Especially in service staff like waiters or flight attendants. ("Hi, welcome to McTuckey's. My name's Megan and I'll be taking care of you tonight.")

aestra 13y ago
This really bothers me. I don't care if someone is "cheery" as long as they just do their job. People justify tipping service personnel (bar tenders, waitstaff) over them getting a fair salary because if they didn't tip "how would I get good service? There's no incentive without a tip." I believe some people believe "good service" means fakely cheery while to me it is "you brought me my food." If you aren't faking a smile and elevating your voice you are being "rude."