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This reads like one of those cheesy pickup line / how to pick up women "tutorials". "Peter, with his crazy profile, has a strategic opening message that he cla

by thyroxo 12y ago

This reads like one of those cheesy pickup line / how to pick up women "tutorials". "Peter, with his crazy profile, has a strategic opening message that he claims to be successful with more than 80 percent of the time. I call it 'The Neg And Reverse.'” I mean come on!

jamesaguilar 12y ago
Here are the steps to Tinder, as I understand it (never used it personally, since I'm married, but I have friends who do): 1. Be reasonably attractive. 1.1. Have a reasonably good picture of yourself. 2. Use the app for a few minutes a day. There is no step three. At this point you will be busy dating. If you fail step one, it's probably time to get in shape, since that can make almost anyone a lot more attractive. If you're in shape and unattractive, that is hard, and I wish you the best of luck. :-/
- dropit_sphere 12y ago
  As someone relatively plugged-in to the PUA community, outsiders would be surprised how nuanced the discussion on this divide is. I suspect that the game of love is impervious to hacking. Not that PUA techniques don't work (they do, and it is not a fun realization to have that people are so easily manipulated on something that seems pretty core), but that a lot of what people are seeking is ego validation, and you'll get "technique validation" instead.
  - jamesaguilar 12y ago
    I don't doubt that some variations on PUA techniques can improve your success rate. I mean, the negation is ludicrous: humans are perfectly capable of detecting and ignoring posturing during mating dances. But you can get NN% of the way there by doing things that actually add value, and as a bonus, people won't think you are a scumbag.
stefan_kendall3 12y ago
Except that negging works. Talking about differences right away makes you seem honest and unafraid of losing the relationship immediately. The way it's phrased in PUA tutorials is often silly or hyperbolic, but it doesn't mean it's not a fun bridge into conversation that works well on dates or when flirting.
- BESebastian 12y ago
  In the long run, the only way in which it "works" is that you lose any semblance of being a decent human being and people can just straight-up see that you're a scumbag from the get-go.

by thyroxo 12y ago

jamesaguilar 12y ago

Here are the steps to Tinder, as I understand it (never used it personally, since I'm married, but I have friends who do): 1. Be reasonably attractive. 1.1. Have a reasonably good picture of yourself. 2. Use the app for a few minutes a day. There is no step three. At this point you will be busy dating. If you fail step one, it's probably time to get in shape, since that can make almost anyone a lot more attractive. If you're in shape and unattractive, that is hard, and I wish you the best of luck. :-/

dropit_sphere 12y ago
As someone relatively plugged-in to the PUA community, outsiders would be surprised how nuanced the discussion on this divide is. I suspect that the game of love is impervious to hacking. Not that PUA techniques don't work (they do, and it is not a fun realization to have that people are so easily manipulated on something that seems pretty core), but that a lot of what people are seeking is ego validation, and you'll get "technique validation" instead.
- jamesaguilar 12y ago
  I don't doubt that some variations on PUA techniques can improve your success rate. I mean, the negation is ludicrous: humans are perfectly capable of detecting and ignoring posturing during mating dances. But you can get NN% of the way there by doing things that actually add value, and as a bonus, people won't think you are a scumbag.

stefan_kendall3 12y ago

Except that negging works. Talking about differences right away makes you seem honest and unafraid of losing the relationship immediately. The way it's phrased in PUA tutorials is often silly or hyperbolic, but it doesn't mean it's not a fun bridge into conversation that works well on dates or when flirting.

BESebastian 12y ago
In the long run, the only way in which it "works" is that you lose any semblance of being a decent human being and people can just straight-up see that you're a scumbag from the get-go.