5 ms·

I don't think women care these days about getting a diamond. They just want something pretty to show their friends. 50 years ago, it really mattered - a woman

by wisty 13y ago

I don't think women care these days about getting a diamond. They just want something pretty to show their friends. 50 years ago, it really mattered - a woman who moved in with a man before they were married was taking a big gamble - she'd lose her reputation if the marriage fell through. OK, there's still some asymmetry in relationships, but there's no real asymmetry in courtship - women aren't really worse off than men for having had previous relationships. Kids can be asymmetrical (single mothers and fathers have very different issues), but if you're talking about kids than a few months salary shouldn't be a major factor.

jsmeaton 13y ago
> I don't think women care these days about getting a diamond. Unfortunately, most of the women I know do care about getting a real diamond. Doesn't matter if the grown diamonds will be better quality dollar for dollar - it's fake and it won't do.
- ryandrake 13y ago
  I think it says something about someone's character when they prefer jewelry [possibly] mined by a 12-year old slave at gunpoint, at great environmental cost, over jewelry produced in a lab.
  - lostlogin 13y ago
    Unless you get certified ethically mined Canadian diamonds. They are a good way to get guilt free diamonds (at an even greater premium).
    - philwelch 13y ago
      Sustaining a cultural norm that causes children to mine for diamonds at gunpoint is not "guilt free". Your particular diamond is fungible. Diamonds should be as taboo as fur coats.
- DrStalker 13y ago
  My fiance and I designed an engagement ring set around a large blue-green sapphire set in yellow gold; it's a stunning piece that suits her far better than a diamond would. We both love it, but when she shows it off some people just can't get over the fact it's not a diamond even when they acknowledge it's a really nice ring.
  - ScottBurson 13y ago
    Show them this: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you... HN discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4535611 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4535611 BTW the ring sounds gorgeous.
- vacri 13y ago
  You mean 'fake', not fake. It's a real diamond.
  - thaumasiotes 13y ago
    This is an interesting one. You mainly identify synthetic jewels by how they're the same as mined ones, but higher quality (bigger, no inclusions, better color, etc). That higher quality gets you a substantial drop in the price. I was amused to learn that DeBeers backed a campaign to convince people that "real" diamonds should have serial numbers inscribed within them -- let's keep natural diamond prices high by artifically making their quality even worse! Another interesting aspect is that whereas natural rubies really are hard to find, and synthetic rubies are dirt cheap to produce... synthetic diamonds aren't all that easy to produce.
linker3000 13y ago
When I started dating my future wife, she gave me a silver Celtic knot ring of hers as a token of affection + a reminder of her because at the time she was working several hours and a plane ride away. It was an inexpensive, but loved, token as it was personal to her. When we decided to get married, we approached several jewellers to make us a pair of wedding rings using the silver one as a template. Most 'commercial' and many small jewellers didn't have the skills or inclination to make the rings from scratch, preferring to suggest we bought a pair 'off the page', but eventually we found a local guy who'd just opened his first shop having followed his father into the trade after an 'old school' apprenticeship - he'd just obtained the right qualifications to be classed as a proper jeweller and when we explained our idea he was positively enthusiastic about the project, so he hand-pierced and finished off two Celtic knots in 9ct gold (they had to be low-gold content to keep the rings tough enough to stay in shape with all the knotwork holes in them - but the metal type/content wasn't important to us). We were delighted, the young jeweller was thrilled that he had done a good job and also had a commission he could show off to other prospective clients in a photo portfolio. Apparently his father was also proud of his work. After a couple of months we went to see the jeweller because we found the bands were pinching a little underneath our fingers and asked him if he would curve/narrow the backs; he replied that he would consider the work to be 'finishing off', so 'no charge', but how about he kept the small amount of gold he'd be removing. Fine by us. So, 15 years on, we have two completely unique, hand made wedding rings that were crafted by someone with a real passion for his art. We have a 'story' and love them for what they symbolize and not because they hit a price point (in fact they were much cheaper than factory stamped ones).
- seunosewa 13y ago
  How much did the young jeweller charge you the first time?
  - linker3000 13y ago
    I believe it was about £180 for the pair.
tekalon 13y ago
I had an Irish Claddagh ring before I met my husband. It's a traditional friendship/engagement/wedding ring, all in one. Had it for years. When I got engaged, put it on the left hand with the pointing out (to show that I was engaged). When we got married, it pointed in. We spent $50 to replace the glass center with a synthetic emerald. I get more questions and comments on it than a diamond would (questions about culture, symbolism, etc). I personally don't like diamonds for various reasons, neither does my sister who got a blue sapphire or something like that. So I agree, women don't care as much about diamonds. Some want them since they are culturally programmed to, some like the storybook feeling of having a diamond, some get diamonds since that is what the men think they want.
- dllthomas 13y ago
  My wife also didn't want a diamond, and we went with a synthetic emerald too. Technological progress and the triumph of humans over nature maybe isn't the ideal symbolism for an engagement ring, but it's better than blood and oppression (at least, given our views on marriage - others may disagree...).
  - tekalon 13y ago
    My husband and I met online, so maybe tech over nature is a perfect symbol ^_^.

by wisty 13y ago

jsmeaton 13y ago

> I don't think women care these days about getting a diamond. Unfortunately, most of the women I know do care about getting a real diamond. Doesn't matter if the grown diamonds will be better quality dollar for dollar - it's fake and it won't do.

ryandrake 13y ago
I think it says something about someone's character when they prefer jewelry [possibly] mined by a 12-year old slave at gunpoint, at great environmental cost, over jewelry produced in a lab.
- lostlogin 13y ago
  Unless you get certified ethically mined Canadian diamonds. They are a good way to get guilt free diamonds (at an even greater premium).
  - philwelch 13y ago
    Sustaining a cultural norm that causes children to mine for diamonds at gunpoint is not "guilt free". Your particular diamond is fungible. Diamonds should be as taboo as fur coats.
DrStalker 13y ago
My fiance and I designed an engagement ring set around a large blue-green sapphire set in yellow gold; it's a stunning piece that suits her far better than a diamond would. We both love it, but when she shows it off some people just can't get over the fact it's not a diamond even when they acknowledge it's a really nice ring.
- ScottBurson 13y ago
  Show them this: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you... HN discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4535611 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4535611 BTW the ring sounds gorgeous.
vacri 13y ago
You mean 'fake', not fake. It's a real diamond.
- thaumasiotes 13y ago
  This is an interesting one. You mainly identify synthetic jewels by how they're the same as mined ones, but higher quality (bigger, no inclusions, better color, etc). That higher quality gets you a substantial drop in the price. I was amused to learn that DeBeers backed a campaign to convince people that "real" diamonds should have serial numbers inscribed within them -- let's keep natural diamond prices high by artifically making their quality even worse! Another interesting aspect is that whereas natural rubies really are hard to find, and synthetic rubies are dirt cheap to produce... synthetic diamonds aren't all that easy to produce.

linker3000 13y ago

When I started dating my future wife, she gave me a silver Celtic knot ring of hers as a token of affection + a reminder of her because at the time she was working several hours and a plane ride away. It was an inexpensive, but loved, token as it was personal to her. When we decided to get married, we approached several jewellers to make us a pair of wedding rings using the silver one as a template. Most 'commercial' and many small jewellers didn't have the skills or inclination to make the rings from scratch, preferring to suggest we bought a pair 'off the page', but eventually we found a local guy who'd just opened his first shop having followed his father into the trade after an 'old school' apprenticeship - he'd just obtained the right qualifications to be classed as a proper jeweller and when we explained our idea he was positively enthusiastic about the project, so he hand-pierced and finished off two Celtic knots in 9ct gold (they had to be low-gold content to keep the rings tough enough to stay in shape with all the knotwork holes in them - but the metal type/content wasn't important to us). We were delighted, the young jeweller was thrilled that he had done a good job and also had a commission he could show off to other prospective clients in a photo portfolio. Apparently his father was also proud of his work. After a couple of months we went to see the jeweller because we found the bands were pinching a little underneath our fingers and asked him if he would curve/narrow the backs; he replied that he would consider the work to be 'finishing off', so 'no charge', but how about he kept the small amount of gold he'd be removing. Fine by us. So, 15 years on, we have two completely unique, hand made wedding rings that were crafted by someone with a real passion for his art. We have a 'story' and love them for what they symbolize and not because they hit a price point (in fact they were much cheaper than factory stamped ones).

seunosewa 13y ago
How much did the young jeweller charge you the first time?
- linker3000 13y ago
  I believe it was about £180 for the pair.

tekalon 13y ago

I had an Irish Claddagh ring before I met my husband. It's a traditional friendship/engagement/wedding ring, all in one. Had it for years. When I got engaged, put it on the left hand with the pointing out (to show that I was engaged). When we got married, it pointed in. We spent $50 to replace the glass center with a synthetic emerald. I get more questions and comments on it than a diamond would (questions about culture, symbolism, etc). I personally don't like diamonds for various reasons, neither does my sister who got a blue sapphire or something like that. So I agree, women don't care as much about diamonds. Some want them since they are culturally programmed to, some like the storybook feeling of having a diamond, some get diamonds since that is what the men think they want.

dllthomas 13y ago
My wife also didn't want a diamond, and we went with a synthetic emerald too. Technological progress and the triumph of humans over nature maybe isn't the ideal symbolism for an engagement ring, but it's better than blood and oppression (at least, given our views on marriage - others may disagree...).
- tekalon 13y ago
  My husband and I met online, so maybe tech over nature is a perfect symbol ^_^.