4 ms·

If operating systems ran the airlines...

3 points by tbrock 13y ago

jodrellblank 13y ago
Linux Airways The pilots, stewards and mechanics are all either 15 or 60 years old. The planes are all either six hours or fourty years old. Wherever you turn up to fly, the plane you want to fly on is in a heap of parts on the runway and the employees are bickering over it, mostly ignoring you. A few try to convince you that it's perfectly fine by pointing to other airlines and other airports where you can see Linux Airways flights taking off on schedule, with well built aircraft and regular people working there, and publishing impressive safety and efficiency statistics. You set off to that airport instead, but when you arrive it's like chasing the end of a rainbow from here it looks exactly the same as the previous airport. You look at the previous airport, the heap of parts is gone and the planes are flying at regular intervals. You wonder if this is the twilight zone. You get so engrossed in the heap of plane parts on the runway because nobody has let you see so much of the insides of a plane before. You spend the next fortnight redesigning the seating plan to account for passengers with Fibrodysplasia ossificans who can't bend their legs, apparently that's a big problem, not noticing that you haven't travelled anywhere yet and you had somewhere to be. Mac Airlines Sometimes you end up landing in a remote field; other passengers will gather around telling you which wires to pull out of which engine management units and where to put them. As soon as you take off again, everyone pulls together and says it didn't happen. Some passengers don't arrive at their destination. This never happened. There's a bit of fuss because the Wright Brothers are dead and the passengers aren't yet sure if planes can still exist and keep flying. Windows 8 Air Passengers refuse to fly because the stewardesses have new buttons on their uniforms. Passengers who try to fly are often faced with barely edible meals, luggage compartments that can't hold their bags, and stewards with barely intelligible speech impediments. The supply companies suggest these services were designed for Windows XP Air and have you tried running in compatibility mode and disabling Windows Firewall and UAC?

3 points by tbrock 13y ago

Linux Airways The pilots, stewards and mechanics are all either 15 or 60 years old. The planes are all either six hours or fourty years old. Wherever you turn up to fly, the plane you want to fly on is in a heap of parts on the runway and the employees are bickering over it, mostly ignoring you. A few try to convince you that it's perfectly fine by pointing to other airlines and other airports where you can see Linux Airways flights taking off on schedule, with well built aircraft and regular people working there, and publishing impressive safety and efficiency statistics. You set off to that airport instead, but when you arrive it's like chasing the end of a rainbow from here it looks exactly the same as the previous airport. You look at the previous airport, the heap of parts is gone and the planes are flying at regular intervals. You wonder if this is the twilight zone. You get so engrossed in the heap of plane parts on the runway because nobody has let you see so much of the insides of a plane before. You spend the next fortnight redesigning the seating plan to account for passengers with Fibrodysplasia ossificans who can't bend their legs, apparently that's a big problem, not noticing that you haven't travelled anywhere yet and you had somewhere to be. Mac Airlines Sometimes you end up landing in a remote field; other passengers will gather around telling you which wires to pull out of which engine management units and where to put them. As soon as you take off again, everyone pulls together and says it didn't happen. Some passengers don't arrive at their destination. This never happened. There's a bit of fuss because the Wright Brothers are dead and the passengers aren't yet sure if planes can still exist and keep flying. Windows 8 Air Passengers refuse to fly because the stewardesses have new buttons on their uniforms. Passengers who try to fly are often faced with barely edible meals, luggage compartments that can't hold their bags, and stewards with barely intelligible speech impediments. The supply companies suggest these services were designed for Windows XP Air and have you tried running in compatibility mode and disabling Windows Firewall and UAC?