I've only known about HN for a few weeks so maybe this has all been covered before. But as an outsider looking in, it seems like an awful lot of time and effor

I've only known about HN for a few weeks so maybe this has all been covered before. But as an outsider looking in, it seems like an awful lot of time and effort has been expended to try to make internet comments into something they're not. If you don't want comments, just don't accept comments. There is no algorithm that's going to change human nature. Sorry.