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I am really planning on giving her more attention. My mind is blocked in my startup, so it is very difficult for me to disconnect and be 100% with her whenever

I am really planning on giving her more attention. My mind is blocked in my startup, so it is very difficult for me to disconnect and be 100% with her whenever we are spending time together. And regarding my venture: I can not let my baby go. I must do anything I can to save it. It is a part of me.

MrZongle2 13y ago
Let me echo Edmond's post, and then some: start diverting a lot more attention to that fiancee. You said that you're getting married next year, so that implies that she is not just a girlfriend but rather someone you've decided to make your partner in life. A spouse takes care of you when you're sick as a dog, either with the flu or cancer. A spouse provides you with the brutally honest intellectual sparring partner you generally won't find in other friends. A spouse supports you when you've had a crap day, month, or year. And, of course, the reverse is expected. Name me a business that will do the same. If your 'baby' took off tomorrow in all the ways you have dreamt, would it do any of those things? You are in an understandably low place. But if you ignore or neglect the individuals who are willing and able to help get YOU (and not your business) into a better place, YOU will not be in any condition to improve your professional life. Do something NOW so the friends and fiancee you have NOW remain in your life. Business be damned: it is the people in our lives that make it worth living. You've done the right thing by reaching out for help. If you don't care for my advice, go find a professional for a second/third/fourth opinion. There's no shame in that, but the regret you may feel in the future by squandering your relationships now may be crushing. Act.
davelnewton 13y ago
> My mind is blocked in my startup Your post states otherwise; right now your mind seems to be blocked by self-admitted mindless time-wasting. You say your startup is "part of you" and that you "must do anything you can to save it". I think you want to think that, but you don't actually think that, because your time usage stats tell a very different story. Take a step back and be with your two competing stories: the one you want to believe on an emotional level, and the one you must believe on a rational level--the story you're actually living. That's the only story that matters.

MrZongle2 13y ago

Let me echo Edmond's post, and then some: start diverting a lot more attention to that fiancee. You said that you're getting married next year, so that implies that she is not just a girlfriend but rather someone you've decided to make your partner in life. A spouse takes care of you when you're sick as a dog, either with the flu or cancer. A spouse provides you with the brutally honest intellectual sparring partner you generally won't find in other friends. A spouse supports you when you've had a crap day, month, or year. And, of course, the reverse is expected. Name me a business that will do the same. If your 'baby' took off tomorrow in all the ways you have dreamt, would it do any of those things? You are in an understandably low place. But if you ignore or neglect the individuals who are willing and able to help get YOU (and not your business) into a better place, YOU will not be in any condition to improve your professional life. Do something NOW so the friends and fiancee you have NOW remain in your life. Business be damned: it is the people in our lives that make it worth living. You've done the right thing by reaching out for help. If you don't care for my advice, go find a professional for a second/third/fourth opinion. There's no shame in that, but the regret you may feel in the future by squandering your relationships now may be crushing. Act.

davelnewton 13y ago

> My mind is blocked in my startup Your post states otherwise; right now your mind seems to be blocked by self-admitted mindless time-wasting. You say your startup is "part of you" and that you "must do anything you can to save it". I think you want to think that, but you don't actually think that, because your time usage stats tell a very different story. Take a step back and be with your two competing stories: the one you want to believe on an emotional level, and the one you must believe on a rational level--the story you're actually living. That's the only story that matters.