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Why does it have to be either or? Maybe your friend initially wanted to be friends with you for the utility reasons. But now over the years you've grown beyond
by ripter 13y ago
Why does it have to be either or?
Maybe your friend initially wanted to be friends with you for the utility reasons. But now over the years you've grown beyond that, you have a bond.
This is one of the reasons it's so hard to get rid of toxic friends (not saying you are toxic, just an example.) You've formed that bond that keeps you together even after the utilitarian reason is long gone.
Which begs the question, are there any friendships that don't start from a utilitarian reason? Why did you become friends in the first place? Did you work together? Have similar interests? Did you just need someone that wanted to play late night Japanese board games with you?
No matter the reason, it doesn't make your bond any less real.
- kayoone 13y agoalso depends on how you define a utilitarian reason. If you are new somewhere for example, you will try to get to know people just so you are not alone, and first connections that served to just not be alone might develop into great friendships. Aren't new connections and friendships always utilitarian in some shape or form in the beginning ?
- steven777400 13y agoI think there is truth to this. Even beyond "new". Maybe I like to think that I'm friends with my friends because I care for them, but is there another reason; a subconscious utility I'm deriving from them too?
- kayoone 13y agoProbably, even if its just having a good time.