4 ms·

Fear of Rejection when Applying to Y Combinator

47 points by katm 13y ago

dsugarman 13y ago
Didn't notice an author name on the blog post. I think you should and will get rejected many many times early on, and for us I believe it helped us get in to YC because rejection hardened the team and refined the pitch.
- esharef 13y ago
  Hey, this is Elli from HireArt. I'm the author of the piece. Agreed that rejection actually helps you get closer to your team and figure out what you're really building
EGreg 13y ago
First step to mastery: make it safe to fail, in order to take risks over and over! Being rejected by YC is completely safe!
futurist 13y ago
The way you mentally frame rejection is important. I found Rejection Therapy [1] to be effective at rewiring the brain's perception of rejection and not be attached to the outcome. [1]http://rejectiontherapy.com http://rejectiontherapy.com
crgt 13y ago
I think there's something to be said for trying to develop a fear of not failing. It's a little counterintuitive, but simple enough - if you're not failing at all, you're usually not pushing far enough or risking enough. Hard to make a mark if that's the case. A little daily practice can help - ask yourself: have I failed today? Did I give myself a chance to fail by taking a risk on something today? If too many days go by without a failure it may be time to re-evaluate your overall approach and the way you look at risk.
xiaoma 13y ago
My thinking on this kind of thing is that it's the gatekeeper's job to filter you out, not yours. Don't do it for them.
- larrys 13y ago
  I run into this attitude many times when helping people with negotiation. Where they are so psyched out they don't even want to attempt to ask for something. "They will never accept that". To that I say "don't do the negotiating for someone else that's there job.."
malanj 13y ago
Your offer of help for founders applying to YC is great - thanks very much. I'm going to drop you a mail to take you up on the offer :-)
deleted 13y ago
[deleted]
apardes 13y ago
We just applied for the next YC batch. This post is perfectly on point with our feelings at times through the process. Going into it, the fear of being rejected was almost paralyzing but we pushed through and got it in. It was a good exercise for our team regardless of the outcome.
larrys 13y ago
It totally amazes me how brainwashing things like this are to young founders and entrepreneurs on HN. It sends a message that getting into YC is way to important to miss and if you don't get accepted you stand little chance of getting anywhere on the startup scene. Or in life. I can't imagine this is the spirit that PG and now Sam Altman are interested in portraying. YC came about in 2005. There were companies that were formed prior to that that have been hugely successful. And there have been companies formed after that that have been successful. Not to mention a whole lot of lifestyle businesses. There are also many other incubators, mentors, investors, angels etc. I think it's really dangerous to get all worked up as if not getting into YC is pivotal in a non correctable way. That said I understand the anxiety. But I don't think things like this really help because they reinforce the implied importance more than anything else.
- esharef 13y ago
  Hi, Thanks for pointing this out. I should probably include something in here that clearly states: Getting into YC won't make you successful or vice versa. No, it doesn't matter that much whether you get in, but people still care a lot and my point was simply to say: It's great to care, but don't let that fear paralyze you. Just apply and be a bit zen about the outcome either way.
  - larrys 13y ago
    Well in case I wasn't clear let me restate my point. I think it's great and obviously a huge benefit to get into YC, Harvard, Wharton, or get funded by a top tier VC all of that. Or to marry a beautiful women, handsome man, someone with money, be an NBA or sports athlete you know all of that. What to me is bad is reinforcement of something that makes people feel as if they are failures and "can't cut the mustard" if they don't get in (or achieve something). I don't know if that is even avoidable but wanted to point it out. It kind of smacks of "penis" envy and/or keeping up with the joneses. For the record though: "Getting into YC won't make you successful " Getting into YC or past any filter is for sure a big benefit. No doubt about that. "it doesn't matter that much whether you get in" It does matter if you get in. Of course it does. I am acknowledging that in response to you. But I wouldn't write a blog post saying that because I feel it reinforces a stereotype of halo that I don't think is helpful. And perhaps becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as well.
loladesoto 13y ago
The wartime CEO lets the war define the culture. —Ben Horowitz part of the war waged when running a startup is rejection: repeated, horrifying, relentless. there is no peace and the arrows fly. you can't always control your immediate response but you can train yourself to be braced for it, inured to it when it comes. eventually, with a lot of hard mental conditioning, you can find and appreciate the benefits of being rejected (fortitude, resilience, grim determination). getting into YC is one of many paths to winning that war when you're ready. just turns out to be the most effective i can think of.

47 points by katm 13y ago

Didn't notice an author name on the blog post. I think you should and will get rejected many many times early on, and for us I believe it helped us get in to YC because rejection hardened the team and refined the pitch.

esharef 13y ago
Hey, this is Elli from HireArt. I'm the author of the piece. Agreed that rejection actually helps you get closer to your team and figure out what you're really building

EGreg 13y ago

First step to mastery: make it safe to fail, in order to take risks over and over! Being rejected by YC is completely safe!

futurist 13y ago

The way you mentally frame rejection is important. I found Rejection Therapy [1] to be effective at rewiring the brain's perception of rejection and not be attached to the outcome. [1]http://rejectiontherapy.com http://rejectiontherapy.com

crgt 13y ago

I think there's something to be said for trying to develop a fear of not failing. It's a little counterintuitive, but simple enough - if you're not failing at all, you're usually not pushing far enough or risking enough. Hard to make a mark if that's the case. A little daily practice can help - ask yourself: have I failed today? Did I give myself a chance to fail by taking a risk on something today? If too many days go by without a failure it may be time to re-evaluate your overall approach and the way you look at risk.

xiaoma 13y ago

My thinking on this kind of thing is that it's the gatekeeper's job to filter you out, not yours. Don't do it for them.

larrys 13y ago
I run into this attitude many times when helping people with negotiation. Where they are so psyched out they don't even want to attempt to ask for something. "They will never accept that". To that I say "don't do the negotiating for someone else that's there job.."

malanj 13y ago

Your offer of help for founders applying to YC is great - thanks very much. I'm going to drop you a mail to take you up on the offer :-)

deleted 13y ago

[deleted]

apardes 13y ago

We just applied for the next YC batch. This post is perfectly on point with our feelings at times through the process. Going into it, the fear of being rejected was almost paralyzing but we pushed through and got it in. It was a good exercise for our team regardless of the outcome.

larrys 13y ago

It totally amazes me how brainwashing things like this are to young founders and entrepreneurs on HN. It sends a message that getting into YC is way to important to miss and if you don't get accepted you stand little chance of getting anywhere on the startup scene. Or in life. I can't imagine this is the spirit that PG and now Sam Altman are interested in portraying. YC came about in 2005. There were companies that were formed prior to that that have been hugely successful. And there have been companies formed after that that have been successful. Not to mention a whole lot of lifestyle businesses. There are also many other incubators, mentors, investors, angels etc. I think it's really dangerous to get all worked up as if not getting into YC is pivotal in a non correctable way. That said I understand the anxiety. But I don't think things like this really help because they reinforce the implied importance more than anything else.

esharef 13y ago
Hi, Thanks for pointing this out. I should probably include something in here that clearly states: Getting into YC won't make you successful or vice versa. No, it doesn't matter that much whether you get in, but people still care a lot and my point was simply to say: It's great to care, but don't let that fear paralyze you. Just apply and be a bit zen about the outcome either way.
- larrys 13y ago
  Well in case I wasn't clear let me restate my point. I think it's great and obviously a huge benefit to get into YC, Harvard, Wharton, or get funded by a top tier VC all of that. Or to marry a beautiful women, handsome man, someone with money, be an NBA or sports athlete you know all of that. What to me is bad is reinforcement of something that makes people feel as if they are failures and "can't cut the mustard" if they don't get in (or achieve something). I don't know if that is even avoidable but wanted to point it out. It kind of smacks of "penis" envy and/or keeping up with the joneses. For the record though: "Getting into YC won't make you successful " Getting into YC or past any filter is for sure a big benefit. No doubt about that. "it doesn't matter that much whether you get in" It does matter if you get in. Of course it does. I am acknowledging that in response to you. But I wouldn't write a blog post saying that because I feel it reinforces a stereotype of halo that I don't think is helpful. And perhaps becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as well.

loladesoto 13y ago

The wartime CEO lets the war define the culture. —Ben Horowitz part of the war waged when running a startup is rejection: repeated, horrifying, relentless. there is no peace and the arrows fly. you can't always control your immediate response but you can train yourself to be braced for it, inured to it when it comes. eventually, with a lot of hard mental conditioning, you can find and appreciate the benefits of being rejected (fortitude, resilience, grim determination). getting into YC is one of many paths to winning that war when you're ready. just turns out to be the most effective i can think of.